Be less boring

I am wondering, am I boring or do I just THINK I’m boring? Maybe i just imagine that other people are much more interesting. Maybe because I have so so so many responsibilities I think I’m boring but really I just have no time to have fun. I think I will change this to ‘make more time to have fun.’ I dont know how though. i mean I HAVE to get a certain number of things done and not enough time to do them all and THEN I would need a babysitter if I DID want to go out or whatever. I’ll keep thinking about it.

To make a long story short, I married young, my husband never grew up and I did. I ended up taking on all the responsibility of the house and the kids. He was having all the fun, I was being the mom ALL the time. So now we are divorcing, he is out with his 21 year old girlfriend and I feel like I’m 65 years old. How does one let go of some of the responsibility and find themselves again? How does one stop being boring? What do 30 something moms do for fun???

I have no hobbies or passions anymore. No projects, nothing to play with or become excited about.

I’m excited about the baby coming, that will definitely give me something to do! That’s not a bad thing but I want other things.

I’m disgusted with my own despondency and don’t know where to go.

This time of year generally makes me feel very restless and want to make changes.

The hobbies and careers I have once enjoyed don’t seem as fun. The aromatherapy, yeah it’s still interesting but it doesn’t consume my interest like it once did for a short while…

I could make a list of things I would like to do but am not doing but sadly, not much even occurs to me, except that I need to do something. I’ve even dropped the ball on the school thing because I’m not certain it’s what I want.

I need to meditate or something. I need some sort of clarity, a sign…

I wonder how I should go about this… :/