Deal better with ADHD

Yes! My life was often hard, but once I discovered it’s real, it has a name, and I got it, I’ve been very happy about it. Most of the stress is gone, I realized that things I thought were character flaws were not, and I’m even happy I have it! Of course, the character flaw part was hard to get used to, but I did it in the end. ADHD makes me who I am, and I like who I am, I love having the talents I do and thinking the way I do, and without it, I wouldn’t be the person I am today.

Bottom line: if people just left alone those who are ADHD and actually helped them cope during formative years, ADHD would be the most wonderful thing in the world!

since childhood i developed intricate system [i cant remember exact word] that help me appear “normal” e.g. i learned and usually managed to hide that i function totaly different than anybody else, something i allways knew. and something noone could understand. as you all know.

it is not that hard to trick almost everybody (and avoid the rest) since there is no public sensitivity to this issue.

i start to grow tired of all that pretending. it is not that it is difficult (it is!); it is not that i don’t know how long i’ll get away with it (i don’t!); it occured to me today that it simply has no sence. i want to be what i am.

i need career path, my niche, that uses my unique traits to my advantage instead of hiding them.

lunch wih mom turned into a 3 hour interrogation about why my life is the way it is, why I don’t want to achieve more, why I have so many talents and so much intelligence but don’t want to do anything with it, why I don’t have the natural desire to contribute something that someone with my alleged level of intelligence ought to have, why I don’t care about anything, why I’m not doing anything, etc. etc. I’m 34. Somehow, when I was 13 and learning to go to my special happy glazed-eye place during these talks, I really never imagined we’d still be having them when I was 34. What the hell?

She wants to be my “coach.” People with ADD need a “coach” evidently, to help keep on top of them and make them take action. She says every time she sees me she has this sense of urgency and desperation over the fact that the “filet mignon” of my life is being passed as if I were already in retirement, just getting by… and speaking of retirement, she wonders how I’ll avoid eating catfood through my twilight years, when right now I’m not earning at the rate everyone else is, not feverishly socking money away.

So, I felt sick and lay in bed the rest of the day after that.

It’s one thing to try to make schedules and goals, and its another to follow them. I don’t know why I have such a hard time. I feel like a big lazy cow with no discipline. Maybe I need a coach to crack a whip every now and then, but every time my mother tries to “remind” me of everything I need to get on top of, she makes me feel like I should put “jump out window” at the top of my to-do list. I feel like such a loser when I talk to her. It makes me want to throw up.

I just want you to stop drifting, she says. I want that too. I haven’t found any solutions. I don’t know how to stop. As far as I can tell, there is nothing on which to gain footing.

I suppose what I need to do is prioritize the few goals that will “save me” from my horrible wasted existence. I need to get the grad school application in (even though I don’t know yet whether it’s a program I’m remotely interested in… I do have to do SOMETHING that will get me some kind of bread-and-butter job). Then at least I’ll be on some kind of a “path” instead of just drifting.

to get some structure into my life. I know it’s essential if I’m ever going to get things done. I wish I weren’t so resistant to following rules – even the ones I make for myself, maybe Especially the ones I make for myself, because I know I won’t carry out any consequences I set. GRR.

so much for trying to get to bed at a normal hour. I gotta get my sleep schedule on a tighter leash.

not sure how everyone else feels about this, but I find that with my ADD, i LOVE making massive plans, long lists of all the things I’m interested in, ambitions, and things like that… but I never follow through on any of them. When I came across this site, I thought, how perfect! I can finally organize and prioritize my goals and keep track of them… but the truth is, I’ve found myself spending a whole lot of time on this site and not that much time pursuing my goals.

Now that I saw this goal posted, I thought, yeah, that needs to be on the top of my list, because none of the other goals is getting accomplished and it’s 100% because of my issues with ADD, discipline, follow-through, etc.

• low-sugar,low-carb diet
• exercise
• regular sleep schedule
• fish oil supplements
• medication (DAILY! No skipping.)
• fewer than 2 hrs/day on TV (which supposedly might acutally make ADD issues worse)
• Morning task list (but don’t spend all day on 43T!)

Measurable: Chart my sleep/wake times, diet, exercise, supplements, medicine and tasks in a notebook and review how consistent I’ve been each week especially with getting to bed before 2am and waking before 10am.

Action-oriented/Attainable: see above

Realistic: check

Time-bound: well… this one’s tough. Battling ADD seems to be a life-long process. I think I’ll combine this goal with my 10-week health challenge which I just started on monday. If, after 10 weeks, I have managed to pull off the diet, exercise, and improved sleep consistency, then I’ll call this goal ‘Accomplished’

that would be tremendous power

i hate when couch swallows me

nevertheless let it flow, let it flow
any direction (as long as it is constructive) is better then noone

If I can’t help it becoming enthusiastic with new beginnings…...than I need to find a way to shift my perspektive regularily to see new beginning often enough to feel good.
I think it is easier for me than build long-term persistance. Each week, new leaf!

Right now I’m surfing on wave of new beginning: it’s New Moon, I layed out plans, I forgot those before I didn’t follow, I beleive it is possible, once again!

I red an article and recognised myself in it… I thought that all people are like that! So I googled a bit, this seams to be controvesial topic. But it makes sence.

I have found this questionarre

My results: “You appear to be suffering from a moderate amount of attention and concentration difficulties” etc.

• I usually work on more than one project at a time, and fail to finish many of them.
• And procrastination.
• And my working memory; it is easily erased.
  Other things don’t bother me.

I don’t plan to get professional accessment.

ADHD can certainly be a challenge, but the truth is, the rest of our brain is much more powerful. Between finding an environment and methods that suit my needs and the power of conviction, I am able to do anything I want. I was on Adderall and all sorts of things, but the truth is, I didn’t need it. I just believed I did. Its amazing what we can convince ourselves of and if you believe it, it becomes true!

Find some strength inside!