love my job

but I think I love my job. I base this on the fact that I don’t especially want to leave it anytime soon, I don’t feel sick when I think about going in to work, and I’m pretty happy while I’m there!

Others would say I have a great job- stimulating, good company, good hours, good pay, blah blah blah- but it’s just not me. In retrospect, I should’ve gone into medicine but I think that ship has sailed. Now that I’m in my 30’s, it’s time to stop bitching and to act. I’m not clear still on my ideal job though. My overall goal is to-

Use current experience in pharma, accounting & systems analysis (OR get new training) to make decent money (90K+) working alone (writing/programming) or 1:1 (counseling) in a relaxed, liberal environment (education/clinical) in a big coastal city (Philadelphia) researching requests and responding with information.

I really wanted to like this job, but I just don’t know. There are days when it is okay, but most days are incredibly stressful for me. The environment I work in deals with life and death, which makes me feel anxious most of the time. Everyday is stressful, it is such an unprofessional atmosphere.

I keep telling myself to give it a full year. I’ve heard over and over again people telling me that it takes a new nurse at least a year to feel comfortable at work.

But truthfully I no longer know if nursing is for me.

Today was the sort of day that made me hate my job. I really felt like I could not do a single thing right today. And…I almost cried. I seriously had to bite my tongue and take deep breaths in order to fight back the tears. I want to be good at what I do, but maybe I just don’t have what it takes for this job…

After going out for drinks last week with a couple of girls from work, I had the idea that I should make it a priority to get to know the people I work with. The more they become “friends” rather than “co-workers”, the more it will become enjoyable to go to work.
So I think I will invite some people from work out for drinks again!

I enjoyed work yesterday! Was randomly handed an envelope with a big pay rise out of the blue!! Got to remember though that money isn’t everything and it probably doesn’t actually make me much happier at work, it just makes it much harder to leave!

I have to admit that today I enjoyed work…For the most part, anyway. There were some moments that I still felt a little incompetent and frazzled, but I think I did okay.

1. It’s interesting
2. It’s challenging
3. I get to see the inside of bodies (which I find kinda cool)
4. I get to be part of a team that helps people
5. It will never be boring
6. I have the support of coworkers (for the most part)
7. The pay is reasonable
8. I can work overtime if I want (whether or not that is a good thing…)
9. I get the opportunity to develop specialized skills

I tried to think of a tenth reason, but this is all I could come up with. Really, this list is just sort of my way of convincing myself that I like my job. One could argue that if I don’t like my job, then I should quit. The problem is that I know that the reason I don’t like my job is because I feel incompetent and therefore anxious half of the time. So really, I will stick it out and hope it gets better as I learn more. In the meantime, I will try and remember why I chose this career, and the positive aspects of this job.

I’m slowly on my way to doing what I love. I’ve started a shop in an online community called Etsy where I’m able to sell my crafts….I’m not to the point I can support myself yet but one day I’ll get there….

www.bittersweetboo.etsy.com

I wish I could wake up and look forward to going to work. I like my job, but I don’t love it.
In fact some days I hate it. It can be so stressful, and some of the people I work with can be pretty unsupportive of new people. I guess what I need to realize is that it is only a job, it is not my life. I need to keep that in mind in order to reduce my worrying and stress.