understand females

With a wife and five daughters this would come in handy

Well, this was never really an accurate title for my goal—I think it should be “learn how to interact meaningfully with women and not feel like an alien from the wrong planet”. While I generally do not flirt with anyone, I nonetheless feel self-conscious that my ability to interact with males with greater ease relies much on having superficially good looks, which would mean that I generally fail at all social interaction, and it’s only the faint hope of poon tang that saves me from total social isolation.

I thought that clicking on I want to do this I would enter a new subject. I don t really want to understand female nature, I think I know it enough.

Something funny happened this weekend. I temporarily turned into a girl, bought an expensive dress and wore makeup to J’s concert and I actually enjoyed it. Now it’s Monday and I look back on it like one looks back on a weekend spent partying too hard—you don’t quite know what to make of it ‘cause it’s all a big blur.

J. looked real happy to see me. I think he likes me better when I’m all dolled up, hahaha. See, this is why I don’t get those rumors that he’s gay, he’s never pinged on my queerdar for a second; total red-blooded straight male. Anyhoo… it’s weird! But neat! I could dig the medium-high femme drag once in a while, I think. But only once in a while—damn it took me two hours to get ready. How can girls do this every day???

I don’t get wimmens and I have a vagina, which to most people would qualify me as one of them. So I can understand the basics like PMS and living vis-a-vis the cultural vestiges of a system of social inequality, but… shopping? I hate shopping. I shop for clothes the way HAZMAT teams clear a site of radioactive waste: get in; get the job done; get out; decontaminate. This is especially true for shoes—I hate shopping for shoes with a passion.

And the whole social interaction system: I don’t get that at all. I’ve found it hard to talk to girls because I spend so much time trying to figure out whether they’re really at all interested in what I’m saying or whether they’re just humoring me (which tends to make me clam up—see goal “become less shy”). It gets easier over time (and it’s easier with geeky girls because there’s a good chance they’re already genuinely interested in what I tend to ramble on about). But… yeah. Gotta work on that. It would maybe help with the “I need a life” and “I need to get laid” issues.