have my own family

my mom is a bit crazy, we all think she needs to see a doc but she refuses any help, it’s so frustrating. today my parents had another fight in front of all the relatives (about 15 ppl) during dinner, and i just wished there’s a hole that i could hide myself.. :( i asked my dad again when they will get divorced, cuz there’s no point to stay together if no one’s happy in the family, init?

i have a home but im not happy here, actually i feel lonely and drained. im so tired of all the fights and screams. i cannot even remember when’s the last time i see anyone smile at this home!

one thing i can be happy about is that im gonna move to another country soon and dont have to take all this bs in the near future. and i hope i would meet someone special, to form a new family, my own family. A home that i will be happy to go back to.

though sometimes i don’t have confidence cuz the family i come from is such a failure. just hope i dont carry the same craziness in my DNA.

Like everyone else. A happy family.

My girlfriend really wants us to have a child, but I want some financial security first, since I’m still at university…
So for me it’s a long term goal.

nowadays i’ve been thinking of this goal more and even more. i would like to have a family. i know that this is nat something that will happen overnight, but i’d like it to happen one day. i dream about having a nice home, live in the country where there are plenty of places and things to explore on a daily basis, and teach my family the values and morals that i was brought up with. i like this dreaming stuff a lot.

I had given up on meeting anyone. My MOTHER had given up on me meeting anyone (that’s how bad it was!). And coming from a bad family situation, I wasn’t sure I wanted anything to do with the whole “wife, mother, family” thing anyway.

Ended up meeting a guy with 2 very small kids from a previous marriage, so got the whole package right off the bat. It’s been over 12 years and the kids don’t remember a time without me. I’ve been able to give my kids everything I didn’t have—and that doesn’t mean money and material things.

There are days when I think “what the heck were you thinking?”, but mostly, it’s pretty wonderful. And it gets better as the kids get older, which is good.

I want to be a mom more than most people know. I tell my friends this all of the time and yet I dont know if they really understand my passion. I want to experience sex, pregnancy, birth, singing to my child, telling then about God, teaching them to the best of my ability, sharing stories about me and my husband, answering their questions (even when they are tough), read the Bible with them, pray with them, show them my passion, and help them understand Jesus as much as possible.

something that I truly want to do. While on holiday I spent time with my cousin Dave, his wife, and two children. I could see the love and attention that Iris showered upon her children and husband. You see, I have always counted myself as someone who will be single forever and someone who purposely chose not to find someone to love. Recently (even before my trip to Europe), I have made a conscious decision to WANT to attract a beautiful man (inside and out :)p) and to start a family. I want this and I release it to the universe.

- Invent my own family traditions
- Have family exclusive holidays
- Have family photo albums and journal where everyone writes on it
- Make the family tree
- Write the story of the family down

It is not something I would do, just for doing.
And it is not something I have full control over so I can’t be too hard on myself if it doesn’t happen.
This is something I would not do with just anyone, first of all the other person must want it too.
I thought that love, understanding, perfect husband, etc would be a enough to start, but it is not. The other person’s heart must want it too. If it is not there it is not there, and that is ok too.

This would tie in with my other goal of falling in love. Hopefully after that happens, I will have a family relatively shortly thereafter….but first thing’s first…