Be a calmer person

I feel sick to my stomach before & during work….more often before. It’s been that way at several jobs I’ve had….a fear of the worst, that something really bad is going to happen…..that I will not be able to handle whatever is in store for me on any given day.

I’m in retail, and find myself being less patient with people every day, and getting more stressed. I’d appreciate any suggestions or tips…I’ve tried talking to a counselor and he had me say a little “mantra” everyday when I got out of bed and before bed, and during the day as needed (or remembered), but that didn’t really help….I’ve always been a nervous person. Thanks, anyone who tries to help.

I’ve noticed that I’ve been able to control my emotions much better now. It’s been pretty good… part of growth. There’s still lots of improvements, though. But so far so good. :)

But, despite probably having more objectively to worry about than at many times in the past, the whole process of adulthood for me, or ripening in maturity, has been about calming down. Fretting less. “Having my feelings without them having me.” Worrying less, working with anxiety, learning the slow but vital skill of self-soothing, just, well, calming down.

Not to say that this is finished or over… like so many desired goals (my own and others) it’s a continuing work in progress. But I have learned that worrying, obsessing, and letting my fears run the show is absolutely counter-productive… the exact same outer thing that can be crazy-making and a frenzy of “what-ifs” doom and gloom and self-terrorizing, can also be looked at in a more relaxed state, and it utterly seems to change (though “it” didn’t… I did). Which is MUCH more efficient anyway… when you calm down, the solutions, ideas, answers, strategies can arrive. It’s like sitting still fishing, versus saying “I want a fish! I’ve really gotta have a fish, NOW! If I don’t have a fish what will I eat for supper?” and jumping up and down, splashing the water, and otherwise causing a ruckus so that any fish that might be around hightails it out of there.

When I calm down, when in effect “I” get out of the way, meaning my own self-importance, the creative I, who is very different, can come forward and do her creationing.

Sometimes I am calm, and sometimes I just get hyper. I’m not sure whether it’s diet-coke related or biscuit-induced. Maybe I am just an all-or-nothing person. It must irritate the heck out of people around me though.