I’d managed to put everything to the back of my mind for the most part… communication with my best friend is few and far between since he’s so busy and Ive tried to ignore that niggle in the pit of my stomach.
But my sister decided to put on a show today… ‘friendzoned’, and asked me if my best friend had ever admitted to having feelings for me. I shrugged it off without giving a definitive answer but everyone knows he has.
What noone knows is the state of things now. Half watching the show brought it allll back. The point of the show was for bestfriends to go about admitting their true feelings for one another… the results? Rejection. Friends that never spoke again. Friends that dated for a couple weeks then decided to stay friends. Friends that got together. And friendships that turned awkward.
The more of the show I saw, the worse I felt. You cant predict how things will work out but by the looks of it, going from friends to more doesn’t guarantee a great future. 1 week ago
I’ve wanted to fall in love again for the longest time. My first love ended really badly and it kept hurting for a few years, it sometimes still does. I tried to move on as best as I could, but there was always this lingering hope. I hoped that some meaningless flings would stop this nonsense, but it never did. I was really happy and just didn’t want to be alone.
This all kinda changed with a blink of an eye. I realized that I don’t want to pressure love and I’m completely fine being on my own. I can’t say I have a lot of experience with love, but what I do know is that you can’t settle. That feeling will eat alive.
I think love will come when it comes, till then I’m happy alone. I can’t be happy in a relationship if I don’t feel complete as a person.
Here’s a list of things why me being single rocks!
1) I don’t have to share popcorn.
2) I can go to the movies by myself.
3) I can go out whenever I want.
4) I don’t feel like I have to communicate with people when I don’t really want to.
5) When I do something, I do it for me (aka shaving!)
6) I can flirt shamelessly.
7) Less stuff in my room!
8) No jealousy.
9) I can watch trash TV (HERE COMES HONEY BOO BOO! SHMEURRRR!)
Dang, I want some popcorn now. I really, really like being selfish. 2 weeks ago
Its not always reciprocated but so what.
It is such a goal to have though. 2 weeks ago
Mountain climbing,movie watching(Hungry Games II),hot spring village,private cafe and CNN recommended bookstore searching,all these are done within one month, and yesterday Mr.N officially asked me to be his GF!
God,I’m being loved now! 2 weeks ago
I am still in touch with Y. We write and/or talk to each other everyday. Even if it is just a small text or saying good night, he takes some time for me.
I noticed he is saying less nice things to me. Or is he? Maybe I expect more now that we’ve been doing this for a few weeks. Strangely, I believe he truly cares about me, and just doesn’t express it that much.
He says he is going to come to Lyon on the 3rd. And he never backed up! Honestly, if he ever came, he would be the first to come visit me and I would be deeply touched. This might even be the nicest thing a guy has done for me.
How ridiculous is this? I mean, I know he won’t drive 3 hours just to see me naked but wow, how do people go on with their life after something like that? Someone is going to drive 3 hours just to see me!
I still don’t know what my feelings are towards him. I have never been in a relationship with someone I really liked so I have nothing to compare this with. I guess I just have to let it go. Because I enjoy our friendship a lot, he gives me advice, and I know when to tell him to stop (especially when he is pushing me to be more social). 2 weeks ago