I have mixed feelings on becoming a mother. I’ve always kinda been on the fence about having kids. Obviously when I put this on my list I was on the pro side.
I’m not sure I want to have children because a) this world is scary enough without fending for children b) over population, if I were to have kids it would be 1, 2 max c) it’s expensive! think about how much earlier I could retire.
All those reasons are fine a good but the real reason I’m unsure about having kids is bipolar disorder (AKA manic-depressive). This serious mental illness runs in my family and is hereditary (usually through women). I am lucky and don’t have it, but my sister does (severely). I’ve watched first-hand, her struggles with the illness and the pain that my parents (who are not bi-polar but obviously carry it) went through trying to help her. I also have several aunts who have the disease, one of which committed suicide due to it. It is terrifying to think that I could pass this on to a daughter myself since I am likely a carrier. The genetic roots of bipolar are not known and there is no way to screen for it currently. Additionally, the disease onsets with major hormonal changes. Usually puberty, but can also onset with pregnancy. This means that although I made it through puberty without bipolar, if I became pregnant it could manifest.