remember my mother

... recalling.
I don’t remember her. I don’t know her story. Nobody around me is able to tell me her story, and this is just something I may have to cope with, sooner or later.
All I have is just rapid flashbacks. And of course an all-too-detailed story of her sickness.
I’m so tired of just remembering her absence. I would like to know who she was, what she liked, which hopes she had.

As I prepare myself for the trip to spread her ashes in Lake Michigan, I want to remember my mother as a strong woman. A beautiful woman who took control of her life and raised three great kids. A wonderful grandmother or meme… a devoted wife. A biker chick, a good cook…even though she hated cooking. A hard worker, but soft at heart. A true friend who would help anyone who needed it. A good listener and advice giver….even if it was too much advice. I want to remember her festive traits, with her decorative center pieces and creative accessories and clothing. She could wrap presents perfect and fold laundry faster then they could even cool off from the hot dryer. I want to remember her rollers…the ones from 1970 that she refused to give up. Her love for books and crossword puzzels.

I miss her but I will always remember….

your loving daughter….Dix

I’ve always known that I resemble my mom, and have a lot of her personality traits, but since she’s been gone, I notice it so much more. Sometimes I’ll feel myself make a face and without even seeing it realize that I’m making one of her expressions. I’m so thankful that looking in the mirror reminds me of my mother. Because of that, I feel that I carry her with me all the time.

My mother died almost exactly a year ago. She was my best friend on top of being a great mom. I want to remember her vividly so I will always feel close to her. I also want to be able to help my little sister remember her.