Going to a doctor turned out to be a huge mistake…and it’s the one thing I had to ask for money for. I don’t think this was a coincidence. I think it may mean that I have enough money to do what I really need to do, and if I have to look for help from an abusive person or people to make something happen, then maybe I shouldn’t go after whatever it is anyway. 2 years ago
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He’s been carrying on since mid-November about wanting all the 2010 financial data from this account summarized and sent to him within the first few days of the new year so he can get a jump on tax preparation.
He called me twice this morning demanding his data, and think on this:
*2010 ended less than 36 hours before he called.
*It’s Sunday, which means this is a weekend. He may have nothing better to do on the weekends than work but most people aren’t quite that way.
*It’s a holiday weekend. Again, he may have nothing to do but work but I’m a little different.
*It’s Sunday morning and I am a practicing Christian. Guess where I am?
*I am actually pretty sick right now and having a hard time functioning and he knows that.
I am not doing it today and I am not calling him back today, because he needs to understand that there are boundaries. 2 years ago
This is admittedly an unusual situation – we have a personal relationship as well as a business one; we’ve been friends far longer than colleagues.
The advantage in that is that when things get really bad I can take him in hand powerfully without jeopardizing the account or the friendship, despite little voices in my mind hopping around and telling me otherwise.
So when he started acting out last week I called him on it, and told him that I was about to get on a plane to go across the country and didn’t have time for drama and manipulation – as per our agreement, I work on my own schedule, and thus no further work would be done until I was finished spending the holiday with loved ones out of town. :) 2 years ago
kibbutzingaroundI tend to get into situations where the choice is between money and personal freedom.
My parents started this pattern years ago; when I was a kid they gave me all the money I ever needed and bought me all the stuff I wanted and then some, and in return they expected me to act like their emotional and physical abuse was good parenting and my life was perfect…money can’t buy happiness but it bought me decades’ worth of neurosis.
Since then they’ve given me less and less, essentially watched me go under the poverty line for a while, but still gave me a few bucks here and there and expected me to treat them like gods for it; I’m not doing that anymore.
I’m supporting myself 100% now – I’ve done it since October 2010 so I have no financial reasons not to demand to be treated like a human by my family – and I’m not taking jobs from abusive clients anymore either. 2 years ago