live deliberately

Henry David Thoreau, Zen masters, and Krishna of the Bhagavad Gita all praise the practice living fully, consciously, and reverently in every moment. I want to be able to fully immerse myself in every moment and to do even the most mundane activities with full attention and involvement. I want my mind to wander less and focus fully on the present moment. I hope to be able to THINK less and BE more.

I float too often. Just drift where ever. Then wonder why I’m suddenly in a very bad position. Well not this year! Oh no…this year I’m going on the record and I’m doing it deliberately.

I’m looking before I leap and, in what could only be an unprecedented move, stand down from the edge if I can’t justify the squeeze for the juice.

This year, I’m going to play it just a bit smarter (not safer).

Yes… I really want to enjoy this new year in my life! THis year wont be the same thing , THis year will be THE year!

A few years ago, I read Thoreau’s Walden and was deeply inspired by his words (in full… not just the snippets that are printed on coffee mugs):

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, to discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms, and, if it proved to be mean, why then to get the whole and genuine meanness of it, and publish its meanness to the world; or if it were sublime, to know it by experience, and to be able to give a true account of it in my next excursion.

—Henry David Thoreau

i reallly regret soo many things in my life and i WISH that i could stand by everyting i ever did, but i’ve done soo many dumb things!!!

“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.” Henry David Thoreau

Living deliberately has lead me to more than being in the moment. I’ve realized that I have to balance work with the rest of life which I wasn’t doing because I loved my job and wanted too stay ahead. Now I make my todo (do.monkeyfingers.org) list each morning and forget about work once I finish.

To me it means making the day happen, not sitting back and watching the day happen to me. To not rush everywhere. To be fairly well organized so that I can find things, and so that I can anticipate what’s coming up in the day. To be able to look at my “to do” list and not feel guilt, but accomplishment instead. To not have a bunch of projects going on, but instead, only a few.

Finding out how to make this happen is going to be a journey. It’s not as simple as it sounds. It will require contemplation, intention, and not screwing off, wandering around the Internet. And it will mean making the list of 43 things, and working on them.

I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, to discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life…

~Henry David Thoreau

I had never read that before this year, but it essentially gave me a viewpoint. I want to be able to look at my life like that. I want to be able to know that I’m making the absolute most of every day, that I take everything that life can possibly offer me. I want purpose and meaning. I want excitement. I want so much more than what the people around me settle for. Perhaps what they do makes them happy, and if so, then they have all of my respect. But if not, why settle for the mediocre? Why not try again? Why not aim to make your life wonderful? I wish I could wake up every day and just think Carpe Diem.

This phrase struck me just the other day. In fact, I’m thinking about writing an article about it.

It seems that we humans, being habitual creatures, live day to day in our routines forgetting that we have a choice. And it takes something disrupting that routine (sometimes something tragic) for us to step back, take a look at our life, and decide if it’s what we really want.

Living deliberately, to me, means choosing the life I want to live. And doing so everyday.

live instead of exist before I can move on to these green pastures, so I’ve chosen the “give up” option. Plus, I am feeling a little defeatist tonight and want to clear out the attic. This goal list has become unwieldly, full of long term stuff I feel ambivalent about my ability to accomplish.