Keep a journal

i did my first one today, i havent done this in a long while or i start and never get any were or, just stop..
I wrote bout a page today!
im gonna try at least once a week if not more

I have a question though
How do you guys sign your journals, with your name or do you just not sign it?

I’ve had too many attempted journals.
I hate to bring it up(:

I was forced to keep a journal in 6th grade…. and now im a little bit older and i WANT to keep one! I don’t just HAVE to! I think it should be like that with everyone :)

I started an account with My Therapy Journal. It’s an online journal that is extremely affordable. MyTherapyJournal.com is secure and private. The site allows you an initial fourteen day trial period at no cost. If you decide you want to continue then you can pay as little as $7.95 a year. You don’t even have to give any credit card information unless you want to continue journaling, sold me. Now, let’s see if I can stick with it.

:)

Day 1 of awakening

as it seems, there is no good way to start a journal. but after today, i feel i must.
The last few days have been extensive,
i cant pin-point my emotional stand point now,
only that its the beginning of my life.

today, i have spent in the company of my grandfather, dave cline, it has certainly been a change of pace for me, the way i have been living before today is unacceptable, and i would like to keep behind me. and save myself

the shame. ive thought everyday for the past year, that I would

soon be the star of my own escape. the day has finally come that i can say my journey begins. even though it started off simple, which i believe is the beginning to everything great. Simplicity. Today, we lifted and gifted two

grand wood piles to my grandfathers neighbors, not very hard work but it took some time, and for

me it was a proving ground to myself, for things to come, the Island my grandfather lives on is beautiful, the place i will certainly go when i die.

Maybe its just because i have not seen very much of this place called Earth, but i feel like this is the flawless corner that was hidden away for the luckiest of us to uncover.

The small wannabe farm my grandfather lives on is the epitome of relaxing house on the ocean, the sea breeze, the goats grazing in the pasture, the well kept garden around the rose red house, and the sun beating down

on the porch as we sit and listen to the fullness of the emptiness.

After we finished with our daily to-do, we went for a walk, down to the well kept town, with all the amenity of a perfect small town, post office, bakery, the church from when the town was founded a hundred years ago, the faded streets

and empty side walks warmed my heart and beaconed my smile.

After a long day, we sat down as he reminisced on his journeys across america, and family ties. and the reason for my writing tonight.

advice ive taken to heart, and always remembered to this day was when i was young, and i had met a blues guitarist, with a thick southern feel, who, in any other light, would have just been a passer

by on a sidewalk, very old and withered man, but you could tell from the lines on his face he had wisdom in his step.

he went on about how he learned to play the blues, and how he was one of the last of his kind. and i couldnt understand why he had everyones attention at all times, but when we left, i cant recall

who i was with, but he had noticed i wasnt as interested, he said to me, “there is a time to talk and a time to listen, and that was a time for neither.” Some simple advice, that i tried to fight, but he told me i would understand

in time, i never did get it.

I understand now where my adventure itch comes from, i always knew it was my fathers side of the family, but now i know for sure, my grandfather had great stories to tell about his travels to the west coast to see the ocean.

he said its more dangerous now but that isnt going to stop me. There is so much more i feel i could write, but i plan on doing this every day now this summer until i get back from Greece, then every now and then until i leave

on my adventure after senior year unto the world. and believe me i cant wait, but here in writing, its only seperated between lines, and the illusion of time is no factor.

I’ve been going through a rough time so i heard writing helped. So the next day I bought a journal at wallmart. It cost about 9 dollars because it was a leather-like book…and i loved it! i wrote in it with sharpie pens and wrote whatever was on my mind. When things are hard you write down your feelings and even though you feel like it doesnt do anything for you…when you look back to previous entries..you see how your mood changes and how you really have been managing. It helps cherish moments and also things that you can learn from. It shouldnt be something you should worry about. Like worring about writing each night. If you dont get to it its perfectly fine. I love knowing that no one can read it and that no one will judge me for my writing. Its you own personal book that you can do WHATEVER in. Fantsize. Dream. Think. Cry on. Throw out the window. Go pick it up before someone finds it. Decorate it. Its something that is personaly yours. I loved it.

but progress report: I’ve been logging remembered dreams and thoughts for the past few days since I’ve written this. I think that this time it really could help me notice/realize things I wouldn’t otherwise.

I used to have an online journal/blog, but now I find it more satisfying to write with a pen and on a piece of paper. And since you cannot write very fast with your hand, you have more time to think about what to write :-)

so it of course has been a while since i wrote in this. let’s see. i am going to africa, really pumped about that. going to do some many thigns there doing the tour, a lot of adventourous stuff, and actually go camping for the first time. i been unemployed since school ended and too lazy to work ahah, which is really really bad. i worked somewhere but quit, but mind was not there. the only reason i did not get a job was of course because of me wanting to stay close to shannen. well me and her are of course just friends now. so i was unemployed and im like what am i doing here lets do the trip. am i over her? no, i dont think i ever will be, but atleast i have come to terms with where me and her stand. im going on this trip for so many reasons…i think one of the things of course is to get away from her
- want to meet new ppl
-want to have some adventure, doing something new
- want to start the beginning of my travel journeys with this trip
- i want to volunteer
- i want some solitude
at the same time i feel guilty about not being into the volunteering as much as the tour, but i know deep in my heart that the volunteering will be what really helps me get perspective. i have really messed up on my diet, really bad, of course i have been emotionally eating and am in bad shape now, which is entirely my fault. but lets look at some of the things i have accomplished in recent time
- trading stocks
- motercycle
- meeting a lot of ppl at school, making new contacts
- going on a big trip myself
- expressing my true feelings to someone
- going horse back riding
- joined facebook
- went to a club a few times now ;)
- met bikers
- went to a poker tournment
- did another bhangra dance
- read a few novels
i have also started a short story which ppl liked, i will continue wrtining it..
things i could have done that would have made me happier
- followed my diet
- folloed my exerice
- prayed more
- cleaned the house more
- spent more time with family
- stuck to my budget more, this is a real bad one lol
alrite man, there you go, you been doing pretty well, you could have done better, and the point is you can and will get better. when you come back africa you will be better man, a wiser man…God thank you! here it is, in writing for You ;) i also joined this online dating thing lol, just curious as to what kind of ppl are out there, and trhere are amzing ppl out there, i have to just put myself out there!! and i will.