learn to be happy alone

As an only child of a single parent I have always struggled with loneliness. At a young age I began to surround myself with close knit groups of friends that I considered to be like family. By the time I finished high school I was seeing most of my friends on a daily basis. I depended on them.
When the time came to go to college I was a wreck. I was so worried about leaving my friends. They were like my family and I didn’t know what I would do without them. The first day I moved into my dorm I sat by myself crying. At first, I didn’t want to replace my friends. So I would hang out by myself and simply call them. Growing up without siblings made me okay with things like eating by myself or walking to class alone. But I still felt desperately lonely.Slowly, as much as I missed my old friends, I made new friends. A new guy friend in particular.
Throughout high school I had dated. But nothing was ever too serious. I had had plenty of experience with boys, but never felt as if I needed to be in a relationship at all times. Within the first few weeks of college I was dating this boy. He was kind and sweet but it didn’t last long. That would be the start of a string of almost constant boyfriends up until a few months ago.
I had been in a 3+ year relationship with a guy I thought was the love of my life. We were living together when things started to get rocky. One day I gathered up all of my courage and left him. The next day I decided to move back to my home state. I lived in my old apartment for about 3 weeks until I moved. During that time I began talking to an old flame. We talked and texted constantly. It helped me so much to get over the breakup. But about a week after I moved back things began to change. He had just started school up and constantly was to busy to meet up. Things went on like this for a few months until recently I decided I had had enough and gave up.
When I first ended the relationship I was so excited to be single. I had spent all of my fun college years tied down. I wanted to go out, meet new people and start my life over. The excitement has died down now though. And in its place is the expected loneliness. The truth is that I don’t know how to be by myself. And even though I have all of my old friends back, I still feel alone. I have gotten to a place where being fulfilled means being in a relationship. Which is not at all helped by the fact that all of my best friends are in serious long-term relationships.
So this is it. I am learning to be happy alone. I know that I can never be happy with someone else if I can’t be happy with myself. Tonight I went dancing. It was amazing. I have always loved to dance. When I was out on the dance floor, even by myself, I felt truly happy. It was a good first step. That is if you don’t count the fact that I was eyeing up a cute boy. But Rome wasn’t built in a day. I need to fill my life with positive things right now. It’s going to be hard but I know that I can do it.

My spring break is coming up soon. I’m actually looking forward to it and the time I will have alone. I have so much I want to do. This is such an improvement over last spring break when I practically had a nervous breakdown.

I’m not the kind of girl who sleeps around.I’ve had sex with 2 guys,both of whom I was in love with and serious about.However,I made the horrible mistake of sleeping with this guy on the 3rd date(he kept pressuring me),and I haven’t heard from him since.This makes me cry…a lot.Guys can be so cruel.I don’t know why I keep trying to find happiness through men.I’m thinking I need to take a road trip alone.I need to learn to be happy alone because men will always disappoint you. But oh I am so lonely.

I can all too easily become a hermit.

I wouldn’t say I’m happiest when I’m alone..but I’m also never bored.

Actually, I think I know how to be happy alone. It’s the thought of possibly ALWAYS being alone that makes me unhappy.

My life is not about finding a man and I don’t want it to become that. This is what I always tell people. I want to be one of those people who honestly doesn’t care if they have a boyfriend or not. But, I don’t want to be alone. It scares me to death to think of being old and having no one to depend on when my parents are gone. But, the thought of going on match.com or some place like that so I won’t be alone creeps me out! This is what all of my friends think I should do. I have also had a friend tell me I should get a side job in a bar to meet men!!! I think things happen when they are meant to but so far it seems like it is meant to be for me to be alone! So, I have to find a way to become content with that.

i find that loneliness is blocking me from doing things that are really important. instead of writing, painting, putting out job applications, i spend my nights looking for new friends and feeling bad that i can’t. i need to take that energy and put it somewhere more productive. there are times in life where you just have to be alone. i’m the only one who is going to take care of me.

When is it that you are happy being single? when a guy isnt the most important thing? I have no idea when men became my life. When I was little I could care less about boys then when I tured 15 and met my first love its like I’ve been lookin for love ever since then. I just want to not be sad to go to bed alone, to have dinner alone. I want to be happy with the things I have and not care about being single when does that happen?