i recently lost some weight, my hair is kind of growing out, bought a few new clothes, etc.
i’ve had alot of guys come up to me, tell me i’m pretty, pick flowers for me, ask me for my number, hug me, hold my hand, pick me up and twirl me around, dance with me, want me, tell me i’m the most beautifulest girl in the world, etc.
ok… so NOW i feel loved/beautiful. that helped :)
i still have my body dismorphia thing, but it doesn’t feel nearly as bad. it feels more manageable. 3 months ago
No one is going to feel beautiful all of the time. This will always be a work in progress for me. Right now, being 8 months pregnant, is the most beautiful I think I’ve ever felt. Its hard to explain, but its true. 8 months ago
took a series of photographs of myself today, and was happy with it :). (nope, am not going to publish them here. a little anonymity must be preserved…) 11 months ago
this is a goal quite a few people have on this website, so I read “how I did it” entries and felt much better after that :).
and I also took a nice bath and lathered my dry winter skin in lavish lotions…feels much better… 11 months ago
Many things are affecting how attractive I feel. The pain in my foot from the refusing-to-goddamn-heal plantar fasciitis, the stiff right calf that is apparently causing it, the loss of physical strength during the long healing process from the hip injury that started it all, the extra weight that I have simultaneously picked up, and my attitude towards my body (that I cannot be beautiful because I don’t have long, elegant calves).
I’ve learned that if I correct all the physical problems I will feel better but still not beautiful because my attitude towards my body is so negative.
I’ve also learned that I can’t just work on my attitude because at the end of the day, the physical problems leave me feeling sort of unspritely and less capable.
I shall have to work on all these issues together. I have a lot of hope about achieving this goal in the end. After all, my hip has finally healed from surgery. I’m now able to lift my knee up well over 90 degrees and have even started very gentle squats – unthinkable just a few months ago!
I also recently spoke to someone who had successfully managed to heal her stubborn plantar fasciitis by rolling her foot over a tennis ball and she talked me through how to do it. If it goes as well for me as it did for her, it should take about 2 months to correct.
Finally, I have learned that nice clothes and accessories help a lot. Above all, they should fit well, which means I may have to get over my loathing for shopping and actually shop around.
Here’s to feeling beautiful before the year is out! 14 months ago
And I feel that I’m being treated better. Can’t work out if it’s because I look better and people are shallow, or if it’s because I feel better and that’s either affecting others emotionally or causing me to interpret things more positively.
At the end of the day I don’t care. I am finally getting results with this goal! 14 months ago