I have been praying a prayer of thanksgiving for my new job with the new hours, how close it is and the days I work. This is the first time in over 10 years that I have had full weekends off. What a beautiful thing it is. 3 weeks ago
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or insight. I feel ill at ease with no obvious reason why. I’ll be patient and let answers come. 1 month ago
I am a spiritual person. I believe in God and trust in his words even when I don’t always follow like I should.
So lately I have been hating that I haven’t felt like I could “hear” God any longer. No I don’t mean he sends me personal messages on my phone or hear a booming voice in response to praise or questions I have. Those small little nudges though of knowing you are going in the right path due to you feel a sense of peace over the choice, even if you have no idea how you are going to get to the end result.
I would pray and get…..silence. No feelings of peace. No feelings of direction. Nothing. So I found myself praying less and less. I thought I had felt a sense of peace in a direction I had decided a long while back but then my world turned upside down yet again. Then I wasn’t sure any longer.
So….(can I make this any longer?)lately I have really prayed to “hear” God again. Whatever that may be. I then felt convicted of letting go of some of the material items I had. Yet you’ve all seen on here I have struggled in this letting go process. So I really felt pushed on this and went to town one day making a tall pile of things now laying in a back room ready to go. I have a long way to go yet.
I then read about Jonah. Not about the classic little part we all hear as children of Jonah being swallowed by the whale. It was rather how sulky he was that a town was going to be saved and forgiven despite how horrible they had been. That struck a chord.
Was I being like Jonah? Not wanting the Ex to be forgiven but I would rather see him suffer for all the things I discovered? Yes I was. I wanted to see him fall. That his seemingly perfect life lacking any struggle despite the person he was I wanted to see crash. I mean, where’s the justice? The last several years I had felt I didn’t have to forgive because how can you forgive someone who isn’t even sorry for the pain they have caused. My heart started to stir on this.
Then today I heard someone speak on “letting it go”. When I first started listening I thought it was going to be about the “stuff”. Instead it was about the hurts and choosing forgiveness. I felt like I was really “hearing” again.
Okay I get it. I need to forgive. I just don’t know how to yet. That’s a step forward I guess. I think the letting go of the material items was the groundwork for my heart to start opening up again. It seems far too coincidental to say the things I read or heard after this and how they tied in was just by chance. I know some will disagree but my heart feels at peace in this little revelation. 1 month ago
How I did it: I don't have trouble praying to my goddess. (I call her my goddess due to my belief that people are protected by their deity) because I've found many things that I can use to channel her. I know that everyone is guided by someone or something, so to you people out their who are lost, call for help! Read how I did it… 2 months ago
I am praying for the families and loved ones in CT. Such a senseless tragedy that hits close to home for me. Such little angels. May all somehow find peace, and find love within their community to come together and support each other tonight and on the long, hard road ahead. 5 months ago
I wanna learn how to do this again! & with the help of God & a little patience & sacrafice by me i am hopeful to get back to where I need to be with him. 5 months ago
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “thank you,” that would suffice. ~Meister Eckhart 6 months ago