find my passion

It is frustrating when you don not know where yo are best at :/ Or at least better than others + have fun with doing it.

I’ve just started teaching for about 3 months, and I absolutely love the teaching aspect of it (there are also some unpleasant aspects to it). This is my first job, and I don’t know if I’ll get other fulfilling ones; but since I’ve been loving kids for quite a long time, I’m feeling that teaching is really for me. I can sense that while some of my colleagues are doing their JOB, I am feeling like working for a COURSE. May this passion be with me for as long as teaching takes. I’m not considering myself done on this task yet.

This past weekend I sat down with my sister, brother, and cousin who are all soon-to-be high school graduates. I had them write a report on a career that was interesting to them. My siblings had already done a similar report for me earlier in the year. My sister stuck with nursing; my brother chose physical therapy; and my cousin chose computer technology. My cousin’s presentation was the most intriguing of the bunch. He seemed to have done his research and is really interested in the field. I was really proud of him! Now we have to work on bridging their God-given gifts and talents to their careers to make sure they aren’t going against the grain. Getting the assessments together is taking me longer than I had expected, but it was nice to get them thinking about the future that awaits them beyond high school at least.

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I’m aRomantic Self-Improving Builder

At 40 years, I still don’t know what my real passion is. I’ve been reading a lot of books, blogs, and articles for the past 10 years. I know deep down that everybody has a passion. We all had it as kids, but later on in life, it often gets snowed over. I realize, that if I can figure out what I was passionate about as a kid, I’ve probably got my answer. For different reasons, a big part of my childhood is repressed, which doesn’t make this process very easy. I can’t say what I wanted to be “when I grow up”. I can’t remember what I really liked to play anymore. So I thought I’ll try something else. I’ll just sit down, close my eyes and take myself back to my childhood, however painful it may be. I can only get fragments here and there. There’s no clear timeframe. But I just wrote down everything that ever interested me. What I liked doing, and whenever I could figure it out, what exactly I liked about it. I wrote down any memory of a place or activity that somehow triggered a strong feeling within me. Strange thing is, I often cannot define that feeling. But if it’s a strong feeling, it’s got to have a strong meaning in my life.

So now I have to look through my notes and see what common interest I can find. See if something sets off a trigger within me. At least I’m somewhat passionate about finding my passion :-)

Take care and never give up.
CDK

Earlier this year, I read a book entitled, “Living Your Calling:A Practical Guide to Finding and Fulfilling Your Mission in Life” by Kevin and Kay Brennfleck. The book was a blessing to me!!! It really didn’t help me to “find” my mission in life, but it was confirmation for what I had already known. I needed confirmation because I didn’t want to be doing something I wasn’t equipped to do…everyone has something to do that they do extremely well and effectively…and I wanted to know what that was. After reading the book and completing the assessments, the results pointed to….drumroll, please….Teacher/counselor!

Now, as I mentioned before I wasn’t surprised at the results. I had worn the hats of teacher and of counselor many, many times in my life. I always tell people that I’m an accountant by profession, but I’m a counselor at heart!!! I’d been going through a quarter-life crisis for the last few years and one day I had this epiphany:”I am not doing what I’m supposed to be doing.” It wasn’t some BIG epiphany or anything…it was rather simple, but I still wasn’t doing what I was purposed to do, or at least not taking what I was purposed to do seriously. I had even seriously considered transitioning into teaching, but I got cold feet…didn’t think that I could handle certain aspects of the calling… I have soooo much respect for GOOD teachers, that really care about their students… I know that must be an extremely tough job, especially when the parents aren’t supportive.

After doing some soul-searching, I resolved that I’d make a better counselor. Currently, I’m working on a package that helps high school students transition from high school to whatever lies beyond that door they’ll open marked “THE REAL WORLD.” From my own experience, I’ve learned the importance of self-awareness/inventorying. It’s important to know what REALLY matters to you…what you do well without much effort…and so on. So, the package will include several assessments and resources to offer guidance to high schoolers. I am offering the package to my siblings, cousins, and their friends. Hopefully, they will be better prepared for the world on the other side of that door marked “THE REAL WORLD” when they open it than I was. Hopefully they will be able to link their God-given gifts and talents and use them to fulfill their respective missions in life without going through any quarter-life crises. THAT’S MY GREAT HOPE!!!

I have no idea how to start doing this. For nine years all I have concentrated on is my daughter. Now that she is getting older I am realizing that I need to be happy for myself. One day she will leave home and I will have to know how to be happy on my own. I would love for help with this!!

I’ve always wanted to discover that special gift everyone is born with. I believe I have one, but i don’t know what it is. i get good grades in school, draw well, finish puzzles quickly, and am a fairly good writer, but i don’t know if any of those is my talent.

I am moving this one off the list. I have actually identified more passions than I have time for right now! I am switching to more specific goals to help me put my passions into practice.

I’m wondering why this is so hard for me. I really believe that if I truly let myself go, be really immersed in something solely for the joy of doing it, that I’ll get some release from the other stress in my life. Perhaps therein lies the problem. Am I trying to find an escape route? Am I putting too much pressure on what I want the result to be rather than earnestly investing in a process? I wish I didn’t overthink things so much. If there were prizes for overanalyzing, I think I’d get a blue ribbon—it really drives me crazy. It seems I’m talking myself out of doing things before I even get started. I think I’m hung up on this idea that passion should come naturally and so anything I think I may be passionate about, but that seems like it’s going to take effort to get into/get skilled out, I toss aside.
The other week I was at a craft store and all these art supplies were on sale. I splurged and bought paint brushes and guesso to use with my acrylics sitting in a dusty box at home. Every few days I get the urge to go into my dining room and paint, but then I get hung up on what I’m going to paint and get stuck feeling like I can’t start until I have a vision. Problem is, I don’t really think about art in that way. Most of what I’ve done has been painting things that already exist, still lifes I guess you’d say, but my gut reaction is that I hate painting still lifes. Ugh, I don’t know where to begin.
I love to collage and have been really drawn to art in the past that incorporated collage and paint. I really want to try this style, but am a little worried it’ll look like a childhood art project mess. That or that I’ll be so controlled and exact that it doesn’t look like art…
Okay, enough overthinking.I’m just going to get my supplies out and play around.