re-establish lost friendships

I finally started using Facebook seriously when I found their iPhone application. Now, I’m finding myself checking everyone’s status during the commute. Facebook’s a great way to waste time during the bus ride to work.

It’s also getting me back into contact with friends on the East Coast. Before, e-mail turnaround was just too long; we’d either give a curt reply immediately, or lose the letter in our inbox as we thought about a response.

So Facebook isn’t evil and actually makes my life better. I like that.

I commented a few months back that although I’d gotten in touch with some old friends, sometimes the socializing just didn’t stick, and I felt like I was doing all the work trying to get back in touch.

No more.

One old friend from college dropped me a note and suggested we get together for dinner, and used his birthday as a great excuse to force us both to choose a date to get together. That worked great, and we had a fun time between ourselves and spouses. We’re all hoping we can get together again soon.

Another friend from elementary school who I hadn’t heard from just dropped me a note. I’d kept meaning to contact him, but never quite got around to it. It’s too bad, too, for he used to work a few miles from me, but he’s now between jobs and a good forty miles away.

I’m happy and flattered that they took the time to get back in touch (and that they’re both checking e-mail regularly these days.)

Time for me to share the kindness and explicitly plan to get together with other friends too!

My friends, Katy and Craig, hosted a small dinner for me on Sunday night. It was extremely low-key and utterly blissful.

This goal is going very well. I was a little worried when I first posted it, because it just didn’t seem like I had any real motivation to see it through. I’m guessing the depression I’d been experiencing was the blame for this fear. Thankfully, the depression has pretty much subsided and my friendships are getting back on track.

The card I sent to my long-lost friend led to a phone call, which led to lunch and hanging out. I couldn’t be happier!

I sent out my first greeting card in a long time. It’s not so easy to reconnect, after all, but I’m definitely sure that this is too important to ignore. The friendships I have are fabulous and they should be nurtured, so they will last.

Today’s card was certainly a good way to re-open a dialogue with a much-loved friend. :-)

i dont think i can.

I just re-established contact with a girl that I went to college with. It was great to catch up with her, but tough to summarize your life in such little time.

On the “Colma: The Musical” director’s commentary, the writer mentioned a usual complaint he hears about the plot. Now, the movie is about teens who’ve just graduated from high school and are trying to figure out what to do next, and whether to leave their little town (which also happens to be the home of most of San Francisco’s cemetaries). It also goes through the events that strengthen and tear apart their friendships. “Geez, it’s just about a bunch of kids whining about minor things in their life. It’s not like they’re whining about important things.”

“But all those things are important for teenagers; the issues in the movie are all the ones we all dealt with at their age. You lose friends for silly reasons because you haven’t yet got the social skills to get it right.”

The director chimed in “Yeah, but luckily you’ll eventually get those social skills and get those friendships back. That’s what happened to [the writer] and me.”

So how many of my misplaced friendships were caused by me not being good about keeping up the friendships when I was in my twenties, and have I learned my lesson yet?

This is pretty close to my goal of keeping in better touch with friends, but I’m going to keep it because more than a few great friendships have lapsed from lack of attention.