I have such a hard believing in myself. I get nervous for everyday things and I’ve been trying so hard for so long to be the self-assured and confident woman I know I can be.

My friends and family know me as a funny and quirky individual who knows what she wants and goes for it. But once I walk outside my front door and I don’t have the support of people who I know love me I whilst away and become a meek and un-assuming girl.

I want everyone to know that I am a strong, smart, and driven woman who can do anything she sets her mind to. I don’t know why I have this social anxiety, but I’m trying so hard to get over it.

I’m working on trying to be me in the presence of strangers. I don’t want to be silent anymore I have a voice and it should be heard. 22 months ago

Half-full

I have a social life…well, maybe once a month, but that still
counts, right?

I have a job…I only work two hours a week, but at least I am working in a field I love.

I am a student…on medical leave, but I have chipped away at classes and only have two left before I am a college graduate.

Overflowing

I am learning more about myself each day, and learning to love who I am, even while I look ahead to who I want to be someday.

I have a beautiful life. People who love me, faith that sustains me, books that enrich me, music that uplifts me, nature that calms me, memories that delight me, pastimes that divert me, rest that heals me.

I have not yet arrived. I am still on the journey of life, and each day brings new opportunities to grow and make the most of the life I have been given. Tomorrow is a new day.

I am…

Loving. Dedicated. Inquisitive. Musical. Organized. Proactive. Catholic. A learner. A teacher. Caring. Helpful. Encouraging. Friendly. Introspective. Funny. Pretty. Courageous. Strong. Joyful. Kind. Assertive.

I write these things not in a spirit of pride, but out of the realization that if I don’t believe these things about myself, how can I expect to be confident and radiate these things to other people? I do not demonstrate these qualities perfectly, some of them less so than others, but these are all areas where I am growing. As I continue to affirm myself in each of these areas, I believe that my self-confidence will grow along with these qualities. I have already become more self-confident in the last few months, but there is always plenty of room for improvement, and certain situations are lacking in confidence. I want to use these words and phrases as a way to encourage myself in becoming more confident and loving of myself. 23 months ago

in a world which is doing its best,
night and day
to make you everybody else

means to fight the hardest battle
which any human being can fight;

and never stop fighting

e.e. cummings 23 months ago

Another small thing I did recently that reflects my growing confidence is the style of the bridesmaid dress I chose for my friend’s wedding. It is a halter top, which is much more “bold” than anything I would have worn in the past. I still try to be modest, but I am beginning to shift from trying to use clothing to hide myself and make sure no one noticed me so I wouldn’t have to talk and be social, to being comfortable in my own skin and using my clothing to reflect that. 23 months ago

I participated in a high school graduation (not my own; I graduated in 2007) by reading tributes written by the students’ parents. I spoke into a microphone in front of 300-500 people, and felt confident and self-assured. I was slightly nervous before I began, but I ended up really enjoying myself. During the post-graduation reception, over a dozen people complimented me on how well I did and how glad they were that I read their graduate’s tribute.

Also during the reception, I had the opportunity to chat with a few friends, and I spent about twenty minutes catching up with an old friend I have not seen since late October. In the past, I would have been very shy and nervous about talking and being around so many people, but I was able to keep the conversations going and be confident when I spoke. I even made plans with one of my friends who graduated (like a sister to me) to watch a movie together at home next month.

I believe that last night is a reflection of the progress I have made in becoming more self-confident and accepting of myself for who I am, realizing that my thoughts and feelings are valid and valuable, and that even though I have to limit my social time, when I am prepared for it I can succeed in social situations.

XD 23 months ago