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love the one who loves me not the one that doesn't care about me

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sabraeverything would be so much easier...

I’m dreaming ahead and I’m missing out the dream I’m already living. Someone loves me, loves me so much that every time I think it cannot get better than that, something amazing happens. He creates a dream life for me and I’m too blind and selfish and stupid to grab it and hold on to it forever.
I wish I knew what was wrong with me..I refuse hapiness on a plate and I insisit on creating my own. I’m just chasing phantasies and now that I’m aware of it, I still cannot stop.
I’m still thinking “what if…”
And that “what if” kills me.
If I could just get rid of it, I could go on and be trully happy and make someoe else the happiest man on earth. 8 years ago

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