I’m looking forward to the day I can just learn something without getting a kick in the ass first.
So New Year’s Eve, I got this major ass kick, and I went into the generally accepted panic/victim/whine whine mode. But you know what? I’m still here. I still have the basics I need, and extras. And being paranoid about the worst happening every day is not serving me at all.
I believe my own negative mindset has brought me exactly what I’ve been fearing. And that shit needs to end, now. It’s been 3 years and I need to get off this merry-go-round from hell.
I have to remember what I love most, what I desire most, and focus on those things. I have to ignore well-intentioned but paranoid people who adhere to cultural norms that don’t set well with me. I will withhold my issues from them, so I won’t be bombarded by their negative gossip and seeing me on the downward spiral.
I don’t know too many compassionate, understanding people IRL. Most who act like that have been “commiseraters” rather than supportive friends. The rest are just licking their chops, waiting for new blood to drip.
I really need to move, I think. lol 23 months ago