Untitled
2 months ago
mais difícil do que deveria ser.
How to let go of negative people in my life
It made me
Right but sad 
"We all carry enough baggage, why carry more than we have to."
How I did it: I gave one friend in particular a great many opportunities to help me repair whatever had gone wrong with our friendship. I tried to talk to her about what I thought the problem was, how I was feeling, what I wanted to happen. Through that vulnerable process, I realized that she didn't want to change a thing and that my unhappiness in that relationship was not really an issue for her. It was then that I realized that our friendship just wasn't one anymore, I deserved better friendships, and that my energies were being wasted. So after 5 years of BFF, I walked away and never looked back. After the initial shock and sadness of the decision wore off, I realized how liberating it was and kept going until there were none.
Lessons & tips: 1.) First assess whether the person who is negative is someone you really want in your life still.
a.) No? Then just let it go. If you don't care, I doubt they do.
b.) Maybe or yes? Then allow that vulnerability of telling them how your feeling, let them know the friendship is in danger and try to fix it with them. I've saved relationships this way too, they didn't all go the way of the dodo.
2.) Don't be afraid to do the work of fixing it. Otherwise you're just running away and the years of guilt that will follow will let you know you didn't handle the situation right.
3.) Don't expect it not to hurt. It will hurt, you will cry, it will feel like a huge loss. It is, but a little hurt never killed anyone and when it heals, you'll feel so much better!
Resources: My heart and a pair of brass ones.
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Entries
tdhilltx21 is getting it going!!!
One Less Negative Force
6 months ago
One person who was a negative force is now gone. I hope my good karma was not his bad karma (though I guess karma is unbiased)...
tdhilltx21 is getting it going!!!
2009-04-09: Here's my list
7 months ago
PM: difficult but will not let my feelings about PM control my daily attitude and feelings. Let go of all the negative experiences of the past, limit interaction with PM, and realize he cannot control my life.
AA: always thought of AA as a friend but lately realized AA is just going along for the ride. AA says and does things acting like he is being supportive when AA is really just digging for dirt.
DH: DH is estranged wife. She has serious issues apart from me and our past. I can’t let her go completely but I can ignore here dramatics and figure out the best way to see my son.
WH: my mom. She has never really been part of my life since she and my father left me and siblings to live with our grand parents. I have tried to have a relationship with her over the years but she is so prejudicial, racist, opinionated, and over all negative person and I don’t want to have anything to do with her.
IgorTerrible Love ALWAYS wins
I have to let go of my negative self too...haha
14 months ago
Will definitely be more positive to help me achieve this goal…I have been the worst culprit!
raincheck is struggling against some unfortunate situation
mostly men
15 months ago
yeah…mostly guys: MF and MC I let them both go. It took me 5 years for the first and one and a half years for the second one, but eventually I did it. They made my life miserable, crushing down all my self-esteem, all my joy for life. I cannot understand how some people can be that abusive. Well, they both were, even if not in a physical way. Bye bye jerks!
letting go of one negative family member/and one friend
16 months ago
family member:
use to call me 4 times a week to complain about someone in her life. That got emotionally draining for me. All the negativity. I decided to change my phone #. The last straw with me was an email basically insulting me. and No apology for it even though I said it hurt me. I do not deserve to be treated bad.
X bridezilla friend:
She asked me to be in her wedding and i accepted but only to find out that her maid of honor was someone whom I do NOT get along with at all. So almost a year before wedding I backed out gracefully because problems starting happening already w/ maid of honor and myself. Only to get an ultimatum on the friendship. Either be in my wedding or your not my friend anymore. I decided not to be in the wedding regardless and decided not to be friends w/ her ever again. Even though, I receive emails every now and then from her wanting to be friends again and saying sorry. Too bad. If someone is willing to issue an ultimatum, then they better live w/ the consequences! I deserve better friends than that!
The best thing that has happened to me over the last 2 yrs was the new friendships I’ve gained by joining yahoo social groups to meet new friends! new positive, friendly and awesome friends I’ve met!!! I feel so lucky!
*light bulb moment*
2 years ago
I realized that rather than letting go of the negative people in my life (avoiding them all together), I need to change my perception about them.
I am choosing to let go of my attachment to their negativity.
It reminds me of that quote: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle”. I think either Elizabeth Barrett Browning or Plato said that. I think about that quote everyday, I should probably find out who actually said that.
Really negative people are very draining (& not much fun), but they are just doing the best they can with the tools they have.
difficult goal
2 years ago
I’ve found that one way to cope with negative people is to imagine that they are cartoon characters.
It works.
MadamKelly miss piper, potato head extraordinaire
ahh...
2 years ago
A necessary evil. But so rewarding.
