love

to love one an other 1 day ago

I believe I just fell in love for real with my best friends, and he has feelings for me too! yay to me :)) 2 days ago

i went back to work after being off for a week. and as soon as i walked trhough the door, 2 of the chefs welcomed me back, and were flirty and paid me some compliments and happy to have me back. i was on the verge of tears with happiness that they paid me some compliments because of the break up of my relationship, and he made me feel like crap, it just really made me feel better, tho i dont really handle compliments well in general. esp now this thing with my ex, he kinda wrecked my self esteem a bit. just made me feel like, well some people do find me attractive afterall. it was kinda like i needed to have somebody pay me a compliment so i could feel better about myself.

and then later in the day, my boss randomly asked how much did i lose? i said lose what ? weight he said. i said quite alot. he said “i can tell its very noticeable”.... and then he wanted to know specifically how much etc. this is the second time hes brought up my weight loss randomly, telling me im looking good and lean. one of my other colleagues at work a couple of weeks ago also said she noticed ive lost a lot. anyway, these compliments today made me feel a bit better. but when the boys complimented me as soon as i started work and were happy to see me, it almost choked me, cos i got used to lack of afection, compliments or romance from my ex lately. he pretty much decided i wasnt good enough for him and began to treat me like shit. so it was a weird moment. i was litterally on the verge of tears… i kinda smiled shyly and quietly said thanks and then wanted to get away… cos i knew i might burst into tears over it. but yeah that was nice of them. it helped. 4 days ago

deleted the “ex” off my fb. so i can move on better.

he would make a great actor or better yet a great politician. or both. just like swarzenegger yep!

time to move on. its hard, it hurt slightly but it had to be done. im hoping this will be the last entry i post specifically about him.

i think im destined to live in the “be alone forever club.” i jsut cant see anything changing. i cant see me meeting the love of my life. him wanting to settle down and be with me for the rest of my life. every year i pretty much have a failed relationship under mybelt with out fail. sometimes i end it, sometimes they do. im so tired of this. i jsut want to be loved, mutual exclusive love. with the right guy for me. but i am never good enough.

i actually dont know if i can go through falling in love yet again, now that my hearts been broken. but this is good, i forgot what its like to have a broken heart, so now i have been reminded.

i am gonna be a bit cautious with my heart in the future. and when i see the warning signs (which i saw with him) im going to question them about it, and i will let it go once, but if they keep showing up… im gonna run far away and not look back. i dont want to let myself get hurt again if i can help it. jsut so darn hard when u feel like u cant live without that person, but thats the way it is. and thats what i will have to do. i guess.

*takes a deep breath. 5 days ago

my relationship (if u could call it that)is officially broken. we broke up 2 days ago. bit crap, bit heartbroken. seems we arent right for each other. things changed. im not going to go into details. still cry a bit now and again, then i make myself strong again, and i get over it. i am moving on. if a man can make me cry alot and not really give a damn, then he is not worth it.

another new year, another broken relationship, kinda sick of this to be honest. right now im jsut trying to get through these feelings and be done with it and forget him. hes still on my fb and i told him he should delete me, but he hasnt.had a few rants with him about it all over the last 2 days, just letting it all out but we arent really talking now. i deleted his number on my phone so i cant contact him there. and now im jsut minding my own biz on fb and leaving him be… and trying to stay positive. they say the best revenge is to forgive, live well and succeed. well that is the plan. i want to do that. im gonna do that.

gotta admit… the forgiving part is probably the hardest thing in the world…!!! and its only been 2 days since we ended things, and there is still a bit of anger there so im not ready to do that yet. but maybe eventually, we shall see about that part. part of me feels he doesnt deserve my forgiveness. but i am so definately moving on, forgeting the whole thing as much as i can, and getting lost in my passions and what i want to do and enjoy life and be happy doing that.

thats all folks. 5 days ago

Mrs S playfully said something in front of Miss S that may compromise whatever chances I already didn’t have with her, I may have blushed. Still it was very cute and unexpected of her, perhaps that means the points I lose with Miss S I’ve scored with Mrs S ? Yeah, right, pff. 2 weeks ago

is effort ever wasted? if you love someone truly and go through pain and sacrifice to be with them, and it doesnt work out: does that mean you have wasted your time?

I guess kahil gibran said that if you seek only loves peace and loves pleasure than it is better for you that you laugh but not all of your laughter and cry but not all of your tears… 2 weeks ago

Mrs S #2 no longer works with us, meaning the now one and only Mrs S gets double lurve from me. Not fond of that situation, I like having several other crushes to mentally jump to when reality reminds me I don’t stand a chance with one :/ ! 2 weeks ago

Loving who you are, I think, is one of the most important loves of all. 3 weeks ago

...i fell into an oh-so-common trap that most people do when they suddenly start seeing much more of their beloved (whether they are living together or not), and that is:

too much focus on ‘them’ or ‘us’ to the point where i forget ‘me’!!

one thing i’ve been doing this past week or two is seriously stepping back, trying to ‘love without caring’ – and it’s working out. i have been less emotional/analytical, he has felt less pressured about everything. i’m just leaving him alone, being supportive, but also taking time out for myself. it keeps things simple, which is very important. i’m learning that i dont’ need to – i mean, i don’t actually WANT to – analyze every little thing. i have to leave him/us alone.

the other thing is that i’ve been trying to reflect on what – not ‘who’ – i love. not ‘what’ as in possesesions or pets, but things that i like to do, times when i feel most at peace, when it’s important to take alone time.

for me, it is my Saturday morning alone time. i had a lovely ‘at home’ date with my love last night, and awoke feeling refreshed and productive today. now, these few hours in my living room in the morning light is the most peaceful. i am happy. and i’m going to run errands on my own too – just take this day off for ME.

grateful that i have the freedom to do this because some chores/groceries were done yesterday by my lovely man. thank you. 3 weeks ago

I love you every second, every minute, every hour, every day of every year daddy
i want to make love to you everyday every minute and every second of it! hehehe
i love you and lian so much! 3 weeks ago

the notebook 4 weeks ago

saffa guy and i met up! and it went really well! we met up about 3 weeks ago, but because of it being a busy season and i work a lot of weekends, we havent been able to meet up again. however we talk on phone alot and text each other everyday. and we gonna see each other tommorow night :) and next week sunday too :)

our first date was cool. we met up went for coffee at one place. went to see what time movies were on… had a bit of time to kill before movie, so went for another coffee… then went to watch movie… then afterwards we went out for supper at jamie olivers italian restaurant… then we went for a drink at a pub/club where we stayed for most of the eve and snuggled and shared some first kisses.

it was really great and he is a cute guy. has a lot going for him and quite talented. we have the same values. i like his ambition and determination. its the kind of guy, i have been looking for. i like him alot.

he even wrote a poem about me 2 days later after we met. how sweet is that :)

anyway, we are not officially dating. we are jsut testing the waters, tommorow is only our second date. but it would be nice if he and i worked out. im hoping we do. so far, its all going well. cant wait to see him tommorow :) 1 month ago

Kristina , have you ever seen a complete stranger across a room, street, or hallway, and sent them a silent, “I love you,” just for the good it might do?

I have.

But then, to me, they’re not really strangers.

Then again, neither are they to you.

Stranger than fiction,
    The Universe
There are no accidents, Kristina , no coincidences, and no strangers 1 month ago