feel successful

Thinking about what I’ve done while feeling a sense of accomplisment, looking at my plans for the future with eager anticipation. Right now my challenge is (“to go inside of a castle”), being content in the now with what I’m doing-and even what I’m not doing. And sustaining all of the above. Feeling good about all of it, all of the time or at least 90% percent of the time-after all I am human with moods.

Perhaps this is what it means to be successful for me. My individualized meaning of success. 4 months ago

“In the space of just a moment, you feel an intense sense of accomplishment that connects your mind to a long period of sustained effort.”—from 4 secrets to Liking Your Work 4 months ago

“Research has shown that whenever we complete something, we get a bit of internal positive feedback from ourselves,” write the authors of Four Secrets to Liking Your Work. “We get a tiny congratulations from our brain to thank us for our hard work on whatever we just did.”—from 4 Secrets to Liking Your Work 4 months ago

…as you go, you have the sense of the accumulation of achievements because the pile of “things to do grows smaller, while the pile of tasks completed gets larger,” state the authors. “The sensation repeats several times over the course of just a few minutes.”—from 4 Secrets to Liking Your Work 4 months ago

I just scratched out a plan that will fill in the last gap I hope will bring me a feeling of success.

I think aging was important in this goal. It’s hard for someone like me to feel successful when I feel so unformed. I had to live long enough to know what I truly want. I had to experience the contrast of living in NYfor 30 years to appreciate CV. I could NOT have appreciated CV without NY and perhaps vice versa.

Just one more major hurdle. One more major goal and that’s it. However like I said there are hundreds and hundreds of little goals let and they are more so the source of my happiness, but this major goal must still be sought after, it’s a matter of integrity. 5 months ago

I just added a new goal that will eventually replace “feel successful” and that is “feel that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be” or something like that. 5 months ago

I was walking back from a canceled golf lesson with my kids (there was a terrible storm last night and threatened to rain again this morning) and I was thinking. What IS success really?

Once I complete the 43things I have on the list now, they will be replaced by another 43 things, so on and so forth. So I did some research (simple google search) and found this article.

http://www.techjournalsouth.com/2011/04/five-ways-to-define-success/ 6 months ago

I’ve been thinking this for awhile now. My work is of a nature where I feel like I’m starting over every time I work on a project. Perhaps that’s the artist in me. You start with nothing and create something, then you start all over again the next time.

I do however have faith, always that I can do the project from scratch so I guess that’s something. And as I create there are a 1000 infinitesimal decisions that must be made. The lead, what information should be included, left out. The order of the paragraphs, does the whole thing hang together in the end. Does it work?

As I was never taught any of these thing and it comes naturally, it’s hard for me to pat myself on the back for having this skills. It’s like patting myself on the back for being able to breath. I’m a natural. However, I have some limitations—no gift of gab, and my work lacks the flair I’ve seen in others. It’s serviceable. It’s workmanlike. It’s okay. It’s fine. But it’s not THE best. But as I once read. You don’t have to be the best, you just have to be the best you can be right now…so I guess that’s what this goal is about.

I do think I will feel much better when we change environments, I feel that environment is linked to my success. I’m not sure how much it is that I’m concerned with what people and what I really want. I won’t know for sure what might be going on in my head until I’ve lived a little while longer and can get some perspective. 6 months ago

If I could have the same exact life, in a better looking setting, I’d feel successful. that is the absolute final frontier of success for me—the setting.

I grew up in a house, I don’t know how to decorate an apartment and make it beautiful. I have no interest in studying it. I think my best bet is to move into a place that is already beautiful.

I know how to clean now. I know how to make food that looks pretty. We have these glass bowls now and when we put the food away it looks so heathy and pretty. I have that. My husband and I get along, even after being together for 20 years. There is peace in my home. We’re all caught up with dishes, cleaning the bathroom and laundry. I feel that I’m progressing with both of my careers—I work on both every day. I’m educated. The children are getting the academic help that they need. We live in an exciting city. We go to the beach, to the museum, to the library, to festivals. I’ve seen incredible live performances. I’ve traveled throughout the US (accept the West Coast (but that is coming since we have family out there)

Decorating is the final thing I need to learn how to do. Still even if I do learn, we must move. This apartment is not a permanent situation, tho it’s been close to 10 years. 6 months ago

Without keeping track of my time, my work, effort and skill were like water through a sieve. I’d lose it all. I’d be so busy at the end of the day I wouldn’t remember any of it, or give myself credit for any of it. You can’t take credit for what you don’t remember. I do such an overwhelming amount of things, I do forget.

Now I know I work 80-90 hours a week and have been for years and years and years and years…I know that right now I have 10 core areas of responsiblilities, 30 ongoing projects and 43 goals here on 43 things. I know this because I took inventory and keep track.

I’m active in most areas of responsibility and regularly work on about 10-15 ongoing projects a week.

Knowing this information is life changing as I’m starting to know what I can’t do. I turned down a second interview for a job that would have been disruptive. I took a leave from my volunteer position and I turned down an opportunity to work on a commission based project I was oh so NOT interested in.

Focusing on what I am doing and mastering it is the key to my success.

This is also posted under “keep track of my time.” 6 months ago

I’m bored. I think that’s what this is since I’ve never experienced this feeling before, I’m not quite sure. I asked my pre-teen son what boredom feels like since I’ve heard him say “I’m bored” quite a bit in his young life and he says that boredom is when you have a bunch of stuff you could do but you find none of it appealing.

In my case it’s not that I don’t find it appealing, my stuff is okay, what concerns me (concern is a little too strong of a word in this case) is that I’m not as EXCITED about my stuff as I used to be. Yesterday I wrote about the shows, movies and dramas that I discovered in 2004, 2006, 2009 and 2010. However none of these once awesome discoveries offer the same thrill as when they were new.

It’s impossible to be bored and overwhelmed at the same time.

The last 20 years of my life have been marked by overwhelm, anxiety, stress and fear that I won’t be able to get everything done. Now 20 years later I’m all grown up and I’ve mastered the complex mix of stuff I do, only to have this strange new feeling starting to emerge.

This morning I woke up before 6 am and I thought of the song Trouble, but instead of the correct lyrics Trouble/Trouble/Trouble/ Trouble, I thought Boredom/Boredom/Boredom/Boredom/Boredom. LOL. I’m a morning person, so for me to be thinking that at 6 am, how on earth will I feel at 6 pm!!!

Subconsciously I think I’ve been running from boredom my whole life. So I don’t feel this “nothingness” I would instead take on more than I could chew and then stress myself out. Most of the stuff that has stressed me out over the years has been self-imposed. I could have just worked and gone home to rejuvenate. I didn’t have to work full time AND then attend lectures after work and then spend my Saturdays with another organization. I mean if I’d had the energy that would have been fine, but I didn’t and I felt like my life was unmanageable. If I’d cut back, my working life which I worried so much about, might have been better!

The topic of this goal is to feel successful. Can I feel bored and successful at the same time? Well I think I have a better shot than if I felt overwhelmed. When I’m overwhelmed my mind is not quite, I’m nervous and anxious. When I’m bored, I’m relaxed and probably more able to receive any blessings that are coming my way. Boredom-for me-is not painful or particularly unpleasant. I can laugh at things and appreciate things even if I’m bored. I can still work and tend to my hobbies even though my life lacks excitement right now.

PTA elections are coming up soon and I’m going to resist the urge to run for an office. This is the type of thing I’ve done in the past to avoid feeling bored. And then I end up feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I’m part of the membership, I attend every single meeting, that’s enough! 9 months ago