explore myself

I want to be an economist, no wait a politician..neh I’d rather paint..may be being a National Geographic Photographer or explorer is all i want to do

lately i’ve been finding out alot about myself, this is what i have so far…
i love laughing and making friends. i’m usually a bit quiet when i first meet someone, but i’m actually a very friendly person. i love parks. and picnics, especially when i have my hair down and i’m wearing a sundress. i like to look pretty. i genuinely care about people. i’m starting to earn money to hopefully volunteer abroad next summer. the idea of going to a different country and serving the people there is possibly the most exciting concept i can think of. i avoid judging people at all costs. there’s so much more to people than the labels we put on them. i really hate it when people are rude. i love food, probably a little too much. i also love running, even though i’m bad at it. i love the refreshing feeling you get in the middle of a good run, and that indescribable rush about 5 minutes after you’re done…endorphins anyone? i like making people feel funny, even if they’re not. i’m an overachiever if there ever was one. i stay up too late. i’m undecided about religion. i was raised in a christian home, and was very much into it at one time. but now i’m quite convinced it’s not for me. i get very nervous when i start thinking about these things, because i have no idea what tomorrow holds. i could die tomorrow, and i have absolutely no idea what would happen to me. but i really don’t see how anyone can be completely sure. i mean 10 people with 10 different beliefs are “completely sure” about what is going to happen to them when they die. oh well, dwelling on the unknown changes nothing. it’s so funny for me to be saying that about christianity, as i was so sure of it at one time…or was i? i really can’t be sure now. but i like the person i’m becoming. it really was the person i always was, but i somehow felt hindered by my beliefs. but i’m so thankful most people don’t feel like that. i love how much hope and life the people with true beliefs seem to get out of their religion. well, now that i’ve rambled on for who knows how long…
automatic cheers for anyone who actually took the time to read all that, i probably wouldn’t have! ;-)

“It’s not a habit, it’s cool, I feel alive
If you don’t have it you’re on the other side
I’m not an addict (maybe that’s a lie)”

drugs..nope..booze..not so much..
alone…
yeah..that’s a fear of the grandest sort..

Hmm..where to begin..As of late, the demands of daily “life” continue their assault upon my aspirations of growth in this department..However, the recent reclaiming of time..yes, this is possible without utilizing astro-physic wormholes..has empowered me greatly..A friend once told me that to explore yourself does not take effort..you have only to let the growth occur..Innate growth..what a concept

well, let’s ponder some considerable gains in this department..the recent fruit of confrontation..yes, it can be good.
most certainly reveals…
a rediscovered intuneness..and a take nada attitude that i must say..
i am fond of.

to push..to pull..to somehow find the depth that i need in this area would be an awesome thing..i’ve got the one foot moving thing going for me..a slow start to a long journey..