A friend of mine who knows I like listening to live bands, asked me to go with her to a bar in Tempe (AZ). A friend of hers is the drummer for a new band, and she wanted to go see their show.

It was really uncomfortable at first. She and I were clearly the oldest people there, and dressed totally different than the rest of the clientele. I said something to her about how everyone looked like “skaters.” She laughed and said, “I think they’re all stoners.”

Anyway, her friend’s band was okay. Not the normal style of music I listen to. It was kinda a strange mix of Reggae and Rock.

They were only one for maybe 45 minutes or so. The band that came on after them, was the same style music, but they were really good. The third band that came on was also the same style of music, but they were TERRIBLE. We left shortly after they came on.

It was an interesting night. 5 months ago

I don’t like going to places by myself, if I don’t already have a comfort zone there. Especially bars. So if I try something new, I usually need to have a friend there with me.

Last night one of my favorite cover bands was playing at a bar near where I live. I had never been there before, but I made a last minute decision to go by myself.

When I pulled into the parking lot, I almost bailed, but I sucked it up, and went inside.

I’m glad I did. I sat at the bar, and listened to the band. They were good. Not as good as they’ve done at other shows, but still entertaining.

The bar was cool. A small place. Looks like it used to be some kind of garage that was converted to a bar. The sound system was good. The people watching was okay. Nothing too crazy, but an interesting mix of old and young people. It didn’t hurt that a few of the waitresses and bartenders were pretty cute, and wore skimpy short-shorts and tight tank tops. LOL

Did I fit in? Eh…probably not, since I was probably the only one there without an alcoholic beverage in front of them, but I was comfortable enough, that I think I will go back soon.

It’s WAY closer to where I live than my normal “cover band hangout.” 6 months ago

I was so angry at myself for not asking a stranger to dance when I was at Graham’s for my birthday, that I went back the next night. So last night I was there again, and once again, challenged myself to ask a girl to dance.

It took me an hour to finally find someone, and then work up the courage to ask her, but I did it!!

And…she shot me down. Ouch!

Okay…well, it wasn’t a total loss. I proved to myself I could do it. The funny thing is I think I’m more scared of a girl saying “yes” then “no.” Because that would mean I have to interact with her for 4-5 minutes, and not step on her toes, and act like I have some idea what I’m doing on the dance floor.

So I still have more work to do. I need to work up the courage to do this again, and keep doing it until someone says yes. THEN try not to act like a total fool. 7 months ago

Other than being a lazy bum, I had no plans for my birthday yesterday. I had already done the party thing (although not voluntarily), at the surprise birthday party last week, and saw pretty much all my friends and family then. So I was flying solo on my actual birthday. And I had the day off work.

I slept in. That was nice. Then did some chores around the condo. Entered all the receipts into my finances on the computer…THAT was scary. Did a few other odds and ends, but started feeling like I needed to DO something for my birthday.

I ended up at a strip club. Then after I left there, I was thinking, “Well that was kinda of a loser thing to do. You’re by yourself ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, and you’re feeling lonely, so you end up at a strip club. Eh….LOSER!”

I decided that I HAD to make an effort to do SOMETHING that proved I was now 40 years old and didn’t give a damn about being “embarrassed.” I forced myself to go to a club called Graham Central Station in Tempe, AZ. I’ve been there before, but it’s been awhile. And I never had enough guts to ask a girl to dance. I was bound determined to break my streak and find someone…ANYONE…to ask to dance.

The place was freakin’ DEAD!! LOL

I hung out for an hour, and decided, once again, I was an utter failure at doing something so simple as asking someone to dance. As I was leaving, I walked passed a girl, and we both did a double-take. She and I had gone out on a date a while back. Unfortunately I couldn’t remember her name. I apologized, and explained that I was terrible with names. She gave me a hard time, but then we started talking. I asked her to dance. We danced quite a few times. She was there with a friend of hers, who was pretty much plastered. So between watching her friend be silly, and dancing, we had a good time.

I didn’t have any reservations with asking her to dance, because, even though we’d only been out once, I felt like I knew her. So it’s still not the same as asking a stranger to dance, but it’s a start.

We left at 1:30 in the morning. It’s not love or anything. I didn’t even ask for her number, but it felt good to go do something I don’t normally do. Something I haven’t done in a LONG time. And it was fun hanging out and being goofy. I need to do that more often. 7 months ago

Other than being a lazy bum, I had no plans for my birthday yesterday. I had already done the party thing (although not voluntarily), at the surprise birthday party last week, and saw pretty much all my friends and family then. So I was flying solo on my actual birthday. And I had the day off work.

I slept in. That was nice. Then did some chores around the condo. Entered all the receipts into my finances on the computer…THAT was scary. Did a few other odds and ends, but started feeling like I needed to DO something for my birthday.

I ended up at a strip club. Then after I left there, I was thinking, “Well that was kinda of a loser thing to do. You’re by yourself ON YOUR BIRTHDAY, and you’re feeling lonely, so you end up at a strip club. Eh….LOSER!”

I decided that I HAD to make an effort to do SOMETHING that proved I was now 40 years old and didn’t give a damn about being “embarrassed.” I forced myself to go to a club called Graham Central Station in Tempe, AZ. I’ve been there before, but it’s been awhile. And I never had enough guts to ask a girl to dance. I was bound determined to break my streak and find someone…ANYONE…to ask to dance.

The place was freakin’ DEAD!! LOL

I hung out for an hour, and decided, once again, I was an utter failure at doing something so simple as asking someone to dance. As I was leaving, I walked passed a girl, and we both did a double-take. She and I had gone out on a date a while back. Unfortunately I couldn’t remember her name. I apologized, and explained that I was terrible with names. She gave me a hard time, but then we started talking. I asked her to dance. We danced quite a few times. She was there with a friend of hers, who was pretty much plastered. So between watching her friend be silly, and dancing, we had a good time.

I didn’t have any reservations with asking her to dance, because, even though we’d only been out once, I felt like I knew her. So it’s still not the same as asking a stranger to dance, but it’s a start.

We left at 1:30 in the morning. It’s not love or anything. I didn’t even ask for her number, but it felt good to go do something I don’t normally do. Something I haven’t done in a LONG time. And it was fun hanging out and being goofy. I need to do that more often. 7 months ago

The day after I got back from Vancouver, I was supposed to go to my parents’ house for dinner. Since they were going to be out of town for my birthday, my folks wanted to have a “birthday dinner” after I got back, and before they left.

This is nothing unusual. We aren’t big into birthdays in my family. Usually the “celebration” is just me and my parents (and occasionally my brother and his wife and kids) going out to dinner.

So when I showed up at my parents’ house, it ended up being a surprise birthday party. At first I wasn’t too happy. I even told my Mom, “You’re going to pay for this.” But all in all, it was a fun time. Saw some friends I haven’t seen in awhile. Had some good conversations, cake, presents, etc.

Even though, normally I’m not a fan of surprises, or birthday parties, I have to admit, I had a good time. It’s nice to know that people care about you enough to come to a party that celebrates your life. 7 months ago

Went exploring in Stanley Park. Saw a cute girl sitting on a rock. Tried to get to know her, but she totally ignored me….. (sigh).

BTW: I hate driving here. It’s like driving in Los Angeles. Crazy people everywhere. Lanes end abruptly. People park in the right lane. Ugh…definitely not in my comfort zone. 8 months ago

I’ve traveled by myself quite a few times, and each time it’s a bit nerve-racking. Although the first time to a particular destination is always the scariest.

I’ve got some vacation time coming up, and I’ve been wondering what to do. I thought about going to Hawaii again, but I kept thinking it might be time to do something new…something outside my comfort zone.

Got the attached fortune today at a local Chinese Restaurant, and decided I needed to stop procrastinating. So, this evening, after a few hours of research, and more fretting than I care to admit, I bought tickets/lodging for Vancouver, British Columbia.

A new place, I’ve never been, and I’m going by myself. 8 months ago

I’m kinda supposed to go to a wedding party tonight.

I don’t even know the bride and groom, but the bride’s parents are business acquaintances. I really don’t care for parties, and I certainly don’t like them when I don’t know anybody that’s going to be there, but my boss said, “I really think you should go.”

Ugh!

It’s 8:40PM right now, and the party was supposed to start at 7:00PM. So I’m trying to get myself worked up to go, make a quick appearance, and then a hasty exit.

No working so far. Still sitting in front of the computer. 11 months ago

I was thinking about going out and doing something tonight.

Now my stomach in bothering me. I’m trying to decide if it’s because I ate something I shouldn’t have eaten, or if it’s psychological, and it’s my nerves telling me they’re not willing to put with doing things outside my comfort zone tonight. 14 months ago

I went to a restaurant/bar tonight and saw a cover band. I asked Z if she wanted to go with me, but she couldn’t. I almost decided not to go, since going alone would make me…well…uncomfortable.

So I challenged myself to go by myself. On the way there, I almost turned around a couple times, and I almost called a friend to see if she wanted to go, but then thought…”No…I need to see if I can go do something like this by myself and have a good time.”

They weren’t bad. Not the best cover band I’ve ever heard, but I enjoyed listening to them. 15 months ago

Well, the girl I’ve been crushing-on in yoga class, finally showed up for yoga today (after about a two week absence), and throughout class I couldn’t clear my mind, or concentrate on the poses, because all I could think about was her.

I kept sneaking peeks at her throughout class. She’s adorable. She was kinda dancing to the music while she was coming in and out of different poses. That made me smile.

So after class, I was going to ask her out, but other girls kept “getting in the way.” Then I finally caught her eye and she came over, but before I could say anything two other girls came over and the four of us ended up chatting for a few minutes. FINALLY, the other two moved on to other people, and I asked for her number.

It wasn’t exactly asking her out, but I did get her number. And she even recommended that we should go hiking sometime. Whew!!

As I entered her number into my phone my hands were shaking slightly. I kept thinking…please don’t notice…please don’t notice.

I can’t believe I’m 39 years old and I’m STILL afraid to talk to a pretty girl. And this is the FIRST time I’ve EVER asked for a girl’s phone number. Sure I’ve done the internet dating thing, and I did ask that dancer out a month ago, but those don’t count. With internet dating, everyone knows what you’re all there for, and I fully expected the dancer to turn me down, so there were no nerves involved there.

Well, now I’m rambling. Anyway…asking for a girl’s number is WAY outside my comfort zone, and I did it. And I’m happy! :-) 16 months ago

I was invited to go out to dinner with some of the girls from yoga tonight. Shared a table with five lovely ladies (one of whom I have a bit of a crush on).

Once again, I forced myself into a “social situation” where I’d normally be uncomfortable. Tonight I really didn’t feel uncomfortable at all though. We had a good time. Lots of interesting (and quite a bit of strange) conversations.

I’ve learned that being the only guy hanging out with a bunch of girls is strange. They share things that they normally wouldn’t with most men. I’m kinda “one of the girls” in their eyes, yet they know I’m not gay, and a couple of them are even trying to play match-maker between me and the girl I have a crush on. LOL…it’s all very surreal.

I failed in my goal to ask the girl out though. I thought I overheard someone say she had a boyfriend, so I backed off when the opportunity was there. Then later, I was talking to the “match-makers” and they told me that they knew for a fact that she didn’t have a boyfriend. Damn it! Well, hopefully next time I see her I’ll be able to include “ask a girl out” as one of my “do something out of my comfort zone” achievements. 17 months ago

The girl I’m currently seeing (see previous entry) was invited to join some of her girlfriends at a club in Scottsdale called Suede. She asked me to join her, and she asked if I could bring a single guy friend of mine for one of her friends.

THEN we found out that since it was Halloween weekend, that most people would be wearing some kind of costume. My buddy and I had no time to find costumes.

Okay, so I’ve never really been clubbing before. I’ve gone to some country bars and tried to do some Arizona Two Step without looking like a fool, but going to a snooty club where they only let hot girls in the door (and whatever guys they have in tow), is definitely not my thing. I honestly can’t stand the pretentious nature of those places. But that’s where my date wanted to go, so I tagged along for the ride, and dragged my buddy with me.

Our group ended up consisting of me, the girl I’m dating, my buddy, and three other girls. The girls were all hot, which between that and some cash, got us into the club. I don’t think they would have let me and my buddy in otherwise. (Couple of old guys wearing jeans and t-shirts) LOL

To add more discomfort to the situation, I don’t drink. Between the six of us, three ended up well beyond drunk, two were slightly buzzed, and I was stone-cold sober. Sometimes being the only sober person amongst a bunch of drinkers can be fun, but other times it ’s just uncomfortable. This was a little of both.

Ultimately, we had fun. We danced, we got a little crazy, so all in all, it was good, and I’m glad I did it. 18 months ago

Well, this one is kinda strange, but it WAS outside my comfort zone, so I guess for the sake of being honest and thorough I should post it.

I went to a strip club. That part wasn’t really uncomfortable. I’ve been to my fair share. Probably more than I should. I don’t go often anymore, but the last time I went, I asked one of the dancers out on a date. I’ve only done that once before, and I fully expected it to be a repeat of the prior time…meaning a polite “no thank you.”

Much to my surprise she actually said, “yes.” So, to date, I have now gone on four dates with a girl who takes off her clothes for a living. Uh…VERY MUCH outside my comfort zone.

I’m not expecting an actual relationship. She’s only in town for a few months, and will be moving back home after she’s completed her goals here. That means, neither one of us wants to get too serious. We’re keeping it casual. That is also outside my comfort zone. I’ve never dated someone causally.

So anyway, there’s a part of me that wants to climb on my roof and scream at the top of my lungs….”I’m dating a stripper!!” I mean…it’s like a golden egg of sorts. Not many guys can say that.

But the other part of me is somewhat embarrassed about it. I can only image what many of my friends would say. Some will give me a high five, and look at me with envy, but others will look at me with disapproval and give me speeches about being “safe” and “careful” etc.

Oh well…I’m just going to do my best at going with the flow, and not over-thinking things. Yet another thing that makes me uncomfortable. LOL18 months ago

The reunion was cancelled. Not sure if I’m happy that I don’t have to go, or pissed because I was planning on going and now it’s cancelled. Oh well….guess I better start working on something ELSE to do. 19 months ago

I was invited to a friend’s home-warming party that was on October 1st 2011. I knew I wasn’t going to know anyone there but her, and I knew I’d be uncomfortable in a social situation with a bunch of people I’ve never met, but I forced myself to go.

It was okay. I joined in a few conversations, and was only mildly uncomfortable. I’m not going to say I had a “good time” but it didn’t kill me, and as they say….”What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.” 19 months ago

It’s been difficult to do something once a week. I’m just too busy to conciously think about things I can do outside my comfort zone.

I did sign up to go to my 20 year high school reunion. That’ll happen in mid-October, so that very possibly will be the next thing I do that fits this goal.

I honestly have no desire to go. I hated high school, so reliving the past seems pretty stupid, but there are maybe 5 or 6 people I’d like to visit with, and a few of those are the ones who convinced me to go (via Facebook). 20 months ago

I was recently invited to an old friend’s birthday party. In the last 5 or 6 years I’ve seen her and her husband once. They’re good people, but we lost touch after my divorce.

I’d usually say “no” to an invite to a party. I’m just not comfortable in social gatherings. Especially knowing full well that her and her husband would be the only people there I knew. I never know how to start a conversation with someone I don’t know.

But I forced myself to go last night, and I did have a good time. I stayed much longer than I thought I would. And actually there was one other person there that I knew (someone else I hadn’t seen in many many years).

Whew! I survived and had a good time. Imagine that! 21 months ago

See Yoga entry. I went to a Yoga class on Tuesday the 5th. Yeah…definitely outside my comfort zone. Not sure I’d classify it as “fun,” but it was interesting. I’ll go again. 22 months ago

Went to Graham Central Station by myself on Sunday the 3rd. It feels SO freaking weird to go to a bar/club by myself. I didn’t get up enough guts to ask someone to dance. So it was a failure. But at least I went I guess. I’ll have to try harder next time. 22 months ago

Friday night, I almost went to a bar to listen to a cover band, but for some reason I just couldn’t make myself do it.

So when the friend I went dancing with last week, asked if I wanted to go again this week, I pretty much HAD to accept. We had fun.

I know once I go to these things I’m most likely going to have fun. So why do I struggle with the actual decision to go so much?

Well, if nothing else, maybe I’ll get get enough at some of these country dances, I’ll eventually have enough guts to ask someone (who I don’t know) to dance. Although that though is quite unappealing at the moment. Almost makes me sick to the stomach.

Baby steps. 23 months ago

This challenge took a hiatus due to my crazy schedule of late. However, I’m back at it.

I went to a country bar last night and tried practicing my “Arizona Two Step.” I asked a friend to go with me, and she graciously accepted. It took a lot of pressure off, not feeling the need to ask strangers to dance, and none of the stress that goes along with trying to impress a date. We might not have been the most impressive people on the floor, but we had a good time, and some of the steps I learned many many months ago started to come back.

It was a good night. 23 months ago