keep things in perspective

I don’t know what has changed lately, but my outlook is
certainly better than has been in the past. Maybe it is just my perspective, but life is good. That feeling of doom and gloom that followed me around, especially during holidays is gone.
The holidays have been a bad time for me in the past. I just don’t like winter and I find the holidays not all they are suppose to be.

For a long time previous I had been lost. I did not know where I was or where I was going. Now, I still might not have an exact direction or know exactly where I belong, but I do not feel so lost.

I know I have some pretty good people around me. At work, there is a core group that is great to be around. My sons have been great lately and they are coming into their own. I have been busy in some new winter activities this year. Things I would have avoided in the past. And also all the people here on 43T. All the support and encouragement that is generated from everyone. It is nice to be a small part of it.

Thanks to everyone on 43 Things who has helped me and others not be so lost.

Merry Christmas

I keep coming back to this; What is important? because I feel what is important to me, has no meaning in the lives of those around me or those who are close to me. It is not the big things like family, health, living; but the little things that get us to those major things. It seems the way I get there has no meaning or value to anyone.

Is my perspective that messed up? Maybe my patience is just wearing thin these days.

Today would have been my Mom’s 89th birhtday. She died in Dec of 2005. We were actually never that close, but she was my Mom and I still think of her and all she did for her family and others. She was alwyas active and involved. Not so much in big causes, but in the little things revolving around daily life. Every holiday, every family celebration and certainly at church functions, she was there.

The point of this is she did not aspire to be great, to be noticed or celebrated. She did everything simply and for the enjoyment it brought to her and others.

It occurs to me that in this age of concern over so many major areas of our life, to take a more simple perspective, is a road to take. If I could eliminate some of the complications of my life, maybe I would enjoy and appreciate living more. Like Mom did.

When she died, she had virtually nothing left. It all had been taken away. And at that point it did not matter. But I still love her and miss her.

Thanks Mom, for setting the example. Happy Birthday.

And it is cancerous. They had already determined that it is inoperable because of its location. So…at 22, he’s been told he has 1 year. He can go try some type of treatment at Johns Hopkins that offers perhaps a 40% survival rate. He was just planning his wedding. Talk about putting things into perspective!

This is a good thing. I’m going to keep repeating that to myself. I’m sad because I have happy memories of it. I’m sad because I don’t want to leave. On the other hand, life is full of change and if you can’t be flexible, it gets much, MUCH harder. And sometimes change is for the best. I love my house, but it is time to let go. I hope it is a good home for the buyers.

Is one. She’s having seizures. She’s on anti-seizure medication (go figure). She’s already had an EEG. She’s now going to have another one, plus an MRI – all before she’s 1-1/2. What she’s dealing with at an age that she can’t communicate really makes the things I’m dealing with seem…less scary.

A somewhat distant family member of my husband’s just had an experience that does put things into perspective for me. She’s 23 – and she just had a stroke. They found a blood clot in her brain – and while they were checking that out (and the cause of it), they discovered a hole in her heart.

Yes, all the things I’m facing are hard and at times terribly depressing – but they are NOT permanent problems.

• If I hate the job I am starting on Monday, big deal. NOTHING is forever!
• If I’m uncomfortable living with my parents-in-law, well – NOTHING is forever. I’m sure we’ll be on our own again, complete with me cooking and cleaning. (There is something to be said for the help we’re getting now! :-D )
• The problems I’ve got right now, the situation I’m in – well, getting a job is fixing some of it. The rest of it isn’t life threatening, so … I need to relax a bit and take a small step here and there. Stop focusing on EVERYTHING at once.

I say this to myself every day. I say this to help me keep all the mistakes I make and have made in perspective. Sometimes these mistakes weight so heavy on me. But the world will go on, even with all my screw ups.

Now I just have to believe it.

of my life; work, social and personal, I have a tendency to expect to much. I get excited about new things, new adventures and even present situations where there is an aspect of gratification. I expect others to share my excitement. I need to realize what is important to me may not be so with others. I need to accept that others have different priorities and respect them for it. I need to be patient in my expectations and try not to take the lack of interest personally