Free My Mind

As a kid I always thought a lot and spoke little with strange people, I always felt that I could be whatever I wanted to be. Somehow I lost myself. Trying to be someone else, trying to be a better person but always failed on my own standards. I kept hurting my self-esteem throughout and ended up feeling lower than I ever thought I would.

I never thought this situation of personal conflict with my mind would ever arise. Even though I hit my confidence and my belief in my own self, I never thought I was less smarter than anyone else during my downturn. Somehow when I tried to improve myself and started climbing up back again, I started feeling I was the worst I could have been.

I took a hit then, not before, and realized my creativity had died, my will to do something good had died. Even though I found myself to be caring and kind, I did not care about myself. And this is when I started finding myself again. I hope to achieve that real soon so I can give back what I have taken from my family, my community and my own personality.

I guess I’d better do this now…

I recently realized how much religion played a role in my life, playing the father of my moral beliefs. Although, I never considered myself very religious; everyday I lived to be a good person, I lived to please everyone convincing myself, that I too was living by my own moral compass. But, that was all a lie. I’m trying to free my mind of guilt, fear, and doubt. My body, my actions, and my mind are not fully in sync. When I do what I feel, my mind brings me down. It stops me from enjoying the things I should enjoy and the feelings and actions that are the most natural to every human life.

I’m not really sure how to get past this.

i want to let go and just let it be…

but its a number of practice. Getting into spirituality will help you understand your purpose in life. Taking an internal mind cleanse of a journey to somewhere like himalayas will be uplifting. Removing unhealthy egos and gaining awareness. Meditation is the freeway to enlightment and detaching from all material things in the world will bring internal peace. Your life will start to make sense when you searching for truth. Your mind will be free when you learn to understand the mind.

but how?

I want to know what I understand and belive. I know you are out there and I know the is more to it.

tired of the daily routine life… need to use my mind and get out of the mess I face everyday

I have done this before, it takes practice. I think meeting other people who have freed their minds really helps. Otherwise being stuck in the same boring routine following rules really gets to you. I get locked in. Living in the city, gas prices so high, no where to escape to. So detached from the natural world.

I wonder or should I say i am surpriced at too many instances in life…....
........why a man will love and fuck a man, why someone will think of killing a fellow being, why u will cheat on your husband or wife . this are very interesting issues on life.

I have come to realize the world is a free place. If u will not be free the being happy in life will be hard.

So I am taking the time to Free myself and take things real cool.

Thats the only way u can be able to wade through the many waters of life…...

Try to know why it happened rather than rationalise that i shudnt have happened

FREE