be comfortable with who i am

It’s just plan and simply; I want to become comfortable with myself.

I want to walk into a room and be confident in who I am and what I stand for as a young woman, wife, and Christian.

I’ve struggled with low self-esteem for as long as I can remember. I’m so self-concious of my body. I can recall several times where my weight and chest size have been a conversation of OTHER people. Why my body issues are in other people’s mouths, I’ll never know. I too easily let others’ opinions of me dictate how I feel about myself. And I let past experiences close me off and fear rejection. I see my quirks as annoying and blame myself for a lot of failures in life. I don’t let myself BE MYSELF because I worry it’s too silly, stupid, ect.

THIS HAS TO STOP.

I can’t remember the last time I was carefree and could look in the mirror and compeltely smile and not give a darn what someone else thought about it.

I can genuinely say I’m growing more in love with myself, and life.

I am understanding myself a little more and stoked to be me.

I am not sure why I am sometimes so unhappy with who/what I am, I just seem to be. I think that it is important to both accept and celebrate who you are, now if only I would!

but I’m so scared to just be myself. It’s completely irrational.

I’ve had two people tell me directly that my confidence seems really low. Funny thing is, they were both in the same day…

I want to be able to just be me though! When I feel like randomly getting up and dancing, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO IT WITHOUT FEAR. I don’t know what it is that holds me back…

I mean, WHY fear it??

What can I say? You’re going to spend Your whole life with Your very onw self, so it’s better to get along with it, rather than try ing to change it and wasting time for it. Besides – are You 100% sure that You’d like Your brand new one ‘yourself’ ?

Just behave like You’re used to. Meet the people that You really like, not the ones that You think it’d be cool to hang around with’em but in fact they just don’t care. Wear the clothes You like. Go to places that You like, not the ones that everyone goes to but wich are simply tiring for You. Listen to the music that You like. If You really want to change something in Your life, be sure You’re doing it for You, not for anyone else…

a silly goal to dwell on. It seems negative.

I’m almost 30 and so often I still feel awkward and fumbling, it’s always been that way. I suppose as long as I’m making progress I’m cool