Having him out of my life finally and not ever wanting him back in it! Yay! I’m finally free! I finally moved on! 3 months ago

Something isn’t right
I can feel it again, feel it again
This isn’t the first time
That you left me waiting

Sad excuses and false hopes high
I saw this coming still
I don’t know why I let you in

I knew it all along
You’re so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
(something’s always wrong)

So you don’t have to call
Or say anything at all
You’re so predictable
(so predictable)

So take your empty words
Your broken promises
And all the time you stole ‘cause
I am done with this

I can give it away, give it away
I’m doing everything I should’ve
And now I’m making the change
I’m living the day
I’m giving back what you gave me
I don’t need anything

I knew it all along
You’re so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
(something’s going wrong)

So you don’t have to call
Or say anything at all
You’re so predictable
(so predictable)

Everywhere I go, everyone I meet
Every time I try to fall in love
They all want to know why I’m so broken
Why am I so cold?
Why I’m so hard inside?
Why am I scared? What am I afraid of?
I don’t even know
This story never had an end

I’ve been waiting
I’ve been searching
I’ve been hoping
I’ve been dreaming you would come back
But I know the ending of this story
You are never coming back, never, never….

I knew it all along
You’re so predictable
I knew something would go wrong
(something’s always wrong)

So you don’t have to call
Or say anything at all
You’re so predictable
(so predictable)

Everywhere I go for the rest of my life
Everyone I love everyone I care about
(so predictable)

You all want to know what’s wrong with me
But I know what it is (so predictable)
I’m ending this right now 3 months ago

It wasn’t enough
It wasn’t enough
It wasn’t enough

I would try to believe
In the things I cannot see
But my faith is shaken now
Like it’s never been before
When I call and you don’t come
I don’t know what I should do
Should I call?
Should I even count on you?

I’ve given all I can
It wasn’t enough
To keep you in my hands
Should I give up?
I try to understand
Was it ever enough?
I don’t understand

So here I am once again
With my back against the wall
Afraid to show you
Afraid to tell you
That I don’t know you like I did
I’ve never been so alone
I’ve never felt so insecure
And now I don’t know where I’m going
In my life I’m not so sure

I’ve given all I can
It wasn’t enough
To keep you in my hands
Should I give up?
I try to understand
Was it ever enough?
I don’t understand

Giving up tonight
I won’t let go, won’t let go of you
Giving up tonight
I wanna show you, wanna show you
Giving up tonight
I won’t let go, won’t let go of you
Giving up tonight
Am I giving up, giving up?
I don’t wanna give this up, I won’t

I’ve given all I can
It wasn’t enough
To keep you in my hands
Should I give up?
I try to understand
Was it ever enough?
I don’t understand

Everything you want from me
I’ve fought so hard for everything
Everything you want from me
I’ve tried so hard, could never be
Anything you want from me
Anything you want from me
Anything you want from me
I gave it all 3 months ago

“Katy Perry – Lost”
Have you ever been so lost?
Known the way and still so lost

Is there a light
At the end of the road
I’m pushing everyone away
‘Cause I can’t feel this any more
Can’t feel this any more

“Temposhark – Is It Better To Have Loved”
I find myself questioning all that I have done
And I’m trying to press the button to rewind
And I find myself whispering “There’s more I could have done”
And I wish I had the option to rewind

Is it better to have loved than not at all?
Is it better to have loved than not at all?

I’m not the same; it feels like I’m missing out
The sky has drained now I must live without
How suddenly the whole world can change overnight
How suddenly the whole world sings your name

Is it better to have loved than not at all?

“Dan Le Sac VS Scroobius Pip – Look For The Woman”
There’s a weight over me today
it’s something I have to say
love you too much to leave
don’t like you enough to stay

My heads in a mess
and I’m stressed

Love, its a weird thing ain’t it?
there’s no way to explain it
but I swear as well as pain
there should be joy but we sustain
the same level of mundane
and it’s numbing me through

I guess lately I’ve had too much time to think
over thinking is the chink in my armour
that’s just what I do

I’ll keep thinking this through 4 months ago

When I get to Warwick Avenue
Meet me by the entrance of the tube
We can talk things over a little time
Promise me you won’t step out of line

When I get to Warwick Avenue
Please drop the past and be true
Don’t think we’re okay just because I’m here
You hurt me bad but I won’t shed a tear

I’m leaving you for the last time, baby
You think you’re loving but you don’t love me
I’ve been confused, out of my mind lately
You think you’re loving but I want to be free
Baby you’ve hurt me

When I get to Warwick Avenue
We’ll spend an hour, but no more than two
Our only chance to speak once more
I showed you the answers, now here’s the door

When I get to Warwick Avenue
I’ll tell you baby that we’re through

I’m leaving you for the last time, baby
You think you’re loving but you don’t love me
I’ve been confused, out of my mind lately
You think you’re loving but you don’t love me
I want to be free, baby, you’ve hurt me

All the days spent together, I wished for better
But I didn’t want the train to come
Now it’s departed, I’m broken-hearted
Seems like we never started

All those days spent together when I wished for better
And I didn’t want the train to come! Oh, oh

You think you’re loving but you don’t love me
I want to be free, baby, you hurt me
You don’t love me, I want to be free
Baby, you’ve hurt me 4 months ago

“10,000 Promises”

Once we were lovers
Just lovers we were
Oh what a lie
Once we were dreamers
Just dreamers we were oh you and I
Now I see you’re just somebody
Who wastes all my time and money
What a lie
You and I

What about your
Your 10,000 promises?
That you gave to me
Your 10,000 promises
That you promised me

Once I could handle the truth
When the truth was you and I
But time after time all the promises
Turned out to be all lies
And now, now I see that you’re somebody
Who wasted my time and money
What lie, oh what a lie (what a lie)
Oh you, you and I, oh you and I

You say I’ll take you back
But I close the door
‘Cause I don’t want 10,000 more

Once we were lovers
Just lovers we were
You and I
What a lie

“Quit Playing Games With My Heart”

Even in my heart I see
You’re not bein’ true to me
Deep within my soul I feel
Nothing’s like it used to be

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
Quit playin’ games with my heart

Quit playin’ games with my heart
Before you tear us apart
Quit playin’ games with my heart
I should’ve known from the start
You know you got to stop
You’re tearing us apart
Quit playin’ games with my heart

Sometimes I wish I could turn back time
Impossible as it may seem
But I wish I could so bad, baby
You better quit playin’ games with my heart 4 months ago

A few questions that I need to know
how you could ever hurt me so
I need to know what I’ve done wrong
and how long it’s been going on
Was it that I never paid enough attention?
Or did I not give enough affection?
Not only will your answers keep me sane
but I’ll know never to make the same mistake again

Did I never treat you right?
Did I always start the fight?
Either way, I’m going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions
I have to find

My head’s spinning
Boy, I’m in a daze
I feel isolated
Don’t wanna communicate

I’ll take a shower, I will scour
I will rub
To find peace of mind
The happy mind I once owned, yeah

Flexing vocabulary runs right through me
The alphabet runs right from A to Z
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can’t find

I’m not crazy
I’m sure I ain’t done nothing wrong
I’m just waiting
‘Cause I heard that this feeling
won’t last that long

Never ever have I ever felt so low
When you gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I’m feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad

Never ever have I had to find
I’ve had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I’ve Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I’m feeling, yeah, I just don’t feel right

I’ll keep searching
Deep within my soul
For all the answers
Don’t wanna hurt no more

I need peace, got to feel at ease
Need to be
Free from pain – going insane
My heart aches, yeah

Sometimes vocabulary runs through my head
The alphabet runs right from A to Zed
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can’t find 4 months ago

No, I can’t take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret
Don’t you know I’m not your ghost any more
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ‘round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

And I’ve learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ‘round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ‘round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

And who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ‘round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are? 4 months ago

I’m going to post some lyrics. Not all apply, totally, but I highlight some that stands out. 4 months ago

feeling stronger… not close to tears.

getting out the house… meeting folks.
smiling. 4 months ago

progress…
clarity…
fog lifting…
self worth recognized… 4 months ago

must not go back… so it’s time to heal….

it’s only been 24 hours…
I am not a victim.
I am stronger than I ever knew…

but I hurt so badly….

I’m sad but not anxious anymore… 5 months ago

I can’t do this anymore. 5 days without him and I felt such a big weight off my shoulders and felt so good and now I feel like crap. M confidence is under deep water, struggling to breathe. I feel like everything is my fault and I’m doing everything wrong. He pinned this idea in my head that I’m basically worthless. I was with him last night and it felt like a drag. I don’t know why i feel any urge to talk to him. I can’t stand fighting with him in the middle of the sidewalk anymore. I can’t stand the drag of being with him and wondering “what else could I be doing”. I’m not happy. And if he goes back to drinking because I leave him then so fucking be it because I’m miserable as hell. He makes me so unhappy. He’s putting it in my face that nobody likes me or whatever. I know I have friends left and right who support me. I can’t do this to myself anymore just because I care about him and he’s my first love and blah blah almost 2 years with him. I need to get rid of him NOW.

I’m sixteen. Honestly, i have other things to do than deal with his bullshit. He can’t even save an efficient amount of money on his own and take care of himself. I should of dumped his ass as soon as he told me he’d beat the shit out of me if I wasn’t a woman. I have the capability to be happy without him. I just need to get used to living life without him. I mean, almost two years is a long time but I will be so free.

This is going to be painful but worth it. I feel ready to drop him. Something clicked inside of me yesterday. 5 months ago

the more time I spent with him the more I realized that I do not ever want him back. I suddenly felt that I do not want to put up with all the sh… I had been putting up with for so many years. Now I have found a new love and he is everything I could ever wish for. If your Ex is obviously an idiot, but you just can not let go of him, try spending a lot of time with him until you realize that you do not want him anymore. It might not work for everyone, though… 5 months ago

realized that he’s full of himself. 5 months ago

I need a break from him so badly that I didn’t even pick up the phone for him once I texted him a little bit. Within 3 hours he was outside of my house waiting for me while I wasn’t home, then texted me saying “you’re not home!” my friends drove by and saw him on my street by my house too.

How can I go about getting a restraining order? Now I’m really turned off by him. 5 months ago

Spending time with him only feels like a drag anymore. At the end of the day when I come home after being with him, it feels as if I had done nothing more than cross off a task on my to-do list rather than truly being happy with our day together. Everything is getting old. I’m outgrowing each and every day. Going to his house feels the same way as getting up for school in the morning. I just am not happy with him. I need some sort of break from him before I really get tired of him and feel suffocated.

He was so cute when I was 14 and loving, but nothing is cute to me anymore because it’s been almost 2 years and he still does nothing with his life. He told me he was talking to some lady to help him with college but I’m not even counting on it cause he told me this 3 times already and he still does nothing. Our workplace just took him off the schedule because he doesnt even show up. It’s gotten old to me. I’m starting to see him in a different way. I still care about him as a person, and as a best friend.

But I’m falling out of love with him. I’m a little sad about it, but this is what I wanted and i feel it in my heart whenever I go to hang out with him and talk to him.

This goal is almost done. I just want to know if this is a phase or if this is real. 5 months ago