tell people how much they mean to me

In school we had this time capsule thing, that we won’t read until next year. I wrote to all of my closest friends about how much I love them, && how much I need all of them.

Especially as I’ve gotten older… I realize what a pain in the ass I have always been. Don’t get me wrong… I was a good kid in the sense that I never got in trouble or did anything painfully wrong. But man… am I stubborn, independant, opinionated, strong-headed and I don’t like to be wrong!

I’m almost 26 years old… my dad is going to be 60 this year… my mom is going to be 55. As I grow older… so do they. I know they wont be around forever, and I don’t know what I’m waiting for to tell them how much they TRULY mean to me. My dad was certainly never the best dad. My mom was always a (pain in the ass) great mom who always wanted the best for us. I want them to know that I love them. I love them for who they are and what they (as different as they are) have allowed me to become as a person.

I don’t only want to tell my mom and dad how much I love them… I also want my brother and sister to know how much I love them. I want them to know that I would die for either of them in the blink of an eye.

I want to tell my friends just how much they mean to me. A select few in particular. Skye who became my best friend in 5th grade when I moved here and knew no one. Even though she doesn’t live near me anymore… and we rarely even talk anymore, and see each other even less… I will always love her! Kelly… who I met in 7th grade. She is one hell of an individual and I just love her! Rick who is like my big brother. He is always protecting me and supporting me. He is one of the best friends I could ask for! ChrisamacA who is fabulously unique! She’s impossible to not love (even though I thought she was totally nuts when I first met her!!!

I would also like to include a few other people in that list… but it’s going to be something that is a work in progress. Here’s the plan… I want to write each of them a letter. A letter that can describe all the things I feel about them. I think this will be a great idea because it will be something tangible that they can hold on to… and it’s so much easier for me to put my emotions onto paper rather than to speak them.

I say “I love you” all the time… I just don’t think anyone realizes how much I mean it!

I have a serious problem. I just can never or hardly ever tell the people that mean so much to me; that influence who I am and my ministry; that I care so much about… I just can’t say the words to them to express what they are to me. It’s not that I don’t have the words, I consider myself a fairly expressive person. I know what I want to say, but can never muster up the strength to say it without cracking a joke or just completely whimping out instead. So often, too often, I’ve found myself at the funeral of these people or sometimes they’re not dead [I mean the ones at the funerals are] but sometimes I just know I’m not gonna see them again or soon and I want them to know, but I just can’t say. I think that’s what it is. I really want them to know, I just don’t want to go through the vulnerable stage necessary to actually tell them. And then, I convince myself that getting all serious with people will be akward… I dunno I’m probably just insane

Worth it, do it.
You never know when it’s too late.

Last night two friends and I each gave a little speech on how much the other two mean to us. It felt good to know how important I am to others, so I am going to continue to tell my friends how much I love them. I really want to take the time to write everybody a long letter but it’s so hard to think of the right things to say.

Yesterday I wrote one of my friends the longest letter, just telling her how great she is and how much I love her and our friendship. It was a really good letter, and I cried whilst writting it and she cried whilst reading it, but I am so glad I did it.

I think I need to do this for all my friends.

There are so many people who i just want to tell this…but no one believes me when i compliment them.

I really wish I could tell someone how I feel about them without looking like a fool.
I just feel stupid when I am constantly telling people how great I think they are.
I’ve written a little card for all my friends, just saying how important they are to me. Now I just have to give it to them.

I’ve been telling people how much I apprciate them.

Last night I had a long chat with a close friend and after the call I sent her a msg. saying thanks, and right after I pressed the “send” button I got a msg. from her saying the same thing, so that made me smile =)

I really need to start doing this, sometimes I just assume that all my friends know how much I appreciate them etc. but recently my friend wroe me a really long letter thanking me for our friendship and it made me feel so special, just knowing that she had taken the time to write it all down so I have decided that, starting next year, I am going to write all my friends a letter telling them how much they mean to me. And Im going to wait until the end of the year to give it to them, so even if we have a fight or drift apart I want them to know how much they can mean to somebody.