learn to sit cross-legged without my legs falling asleep

This has been going on since i was at least 4 years old, and I don’t know why. I have always had bad circulation problems ever since I was that little. And I don’t know why. I have also had bad writer’s cramp and arthritis ever since that young age too. Now I also have some carpal tunnel in my arms and lymphoedema in both of my legs …. sighs

I can never sit cross-legged or straight-legged on the floor at all, I always have to be laying down!

I hate my body.

I’m remembering to stretch while watching TV and my flexibility is improving. I am far more comfortable sitting cross legged now but I still need another few weeks before I will be ready to cross this goal off my list.

I thought this would be a short term goal but I haven’t stuck to it. I need to practice whenever I’m watching TV, I know I can do this I just need to keep reminding myself and keep stretching these legs!

I think I need some shorter term goals so one of them is to practice sitting cross legged in a medative pose for 30 mins without feeling like my legs are going to drop off when I stand up!