Boy BFF broke my heart. I’ve never been through a bad break up…if ever there was one this was it. He just stopped talking to me. It took me a long time, a FB account delete, some crazy, a lot of unanswered letters, and a cell phone hiatus but I came out on the other side realising how strong I am. I don’t have to wait for him, I can live my life with out him and when/if he realised I am the right one for him…then we’ll deal with that when we get there. But I’m not waiting anymore. 6 months ago
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I wasn’t waiting for anything. It worked out, he invited, I came. It resulted in me being ‘a mistake’. There was no waiting. Well wait, maybe I was waiting for the truth. Can’t win I guess. 20 months ago
I might be patient. I might give you space, but never think for a second that my life will pause while I ‘wait’ for you. Just know, when you are ready, I might not be. You have to live with that. Not me. 20 months ago
You know, the one that sounds like “I told you so.”
I didn’t necessarily wait for him, I kept living, I kept doing my thing. But I let myself hope. Never let yourself hope. It’s worse than waiting. HOPING he realizes what’s in front of him is such a waste of energy, and hope. That energy would be better focused on me, making me all that I can be. Instead after months of bffship I get if I have time, I treat everyone like this. No, for me, you make the time. PERIOD. For me, you treat me better. PERIOD. For months you have, why would I think differently. You are so YOU. Transparent, usual, cyclical, repeating. YOU. The only thing that change is the person you COULD be lasted longer this time. I like him. He’s a good man. I have hope that one day you will figure out how to sustain that person.
So sometimes, you have to just give in and hope, so you can be reminded why you shouldn’t. 22 months ago
Sometimes it’s hard to not sit around and wait. Or to not be a welcome mat to men’s shit.
I was dating this guy, he stood me up twice, I did was was necessary and said maybe you aren’t in the right place to be dating right now, we can be friends but I expect you to be there when you say you will be.
I don’t think I am setting the bar too high there, do you?
In any event, totally unrelated to being stood up, I was having some friend issues and life issues and where do I fit in the world issues and I decided to get a new tattoo. Who needs daily affirmations when you have a reminder on your wrist 24/7? It will remind me to always look out for myself first. With that new tattoo on my wrist, how could I possibly take shit from him later that day. Nope I couldn’t.
Sometimes things happen for a reason right? 22 months ago
Not waiting, not really but for the record when you ask if we could make a date for Wednesday, you should set up firmer plans sometime before late Wednesday afternoon. SERIOUSLY. 23 months ago