have a better attitude

I lost my fiance today because i i have such a rude negative attitude
I had no iidea i was like this until now.:(

i need advice on how to stay positive an not to be sucha bitch.
Sombody please help me.

so0meimes my attitude causes me some problems with my family and friends…

I think it should be a good idea to change my attitude about so many things

I ave to0 do0 this… it’s hard… :)

Yes, I can!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like going to work. Or it being dark early. I want to try to be positive about my life and where I am, even if I still am trying to change the situation. I can’t let things I can’t change make me perpetually unhappy.

i have a positive attitude but sways easily when negative remarks are thrown at me. i would like to overcome this negativity and rise above it. i would like to glow with optimism.

Last night i was just in a happy mood for some reason. When i got home, we laughed and smiled and enjoyed each other’s company. i had a lot of work to do and ryan made me dinner while i got started. One small flare up when ryan strayed from homework to read comics online while i worked feverishly. It’s okay though, managed to keep it to one snide remark…why do i think i’m his supervisor or something? but yes, we had a great night.

Well i like cheeky kitten’s idea “to write down all the things my critic tells me to undermine my happiness and enjoyment of life.” So here we go:
1) You’re not using your degree in your current job and its wasting your time.
2) You’re not being practical in your job/living situation.
3) Your boyfriend is a loser and he makes you look silly.
4) Eventually your boyfriend is going to realize that you’re not as amazing as he thought.
5) You’re totally emotional and crazy a good portion of the time.

My response:
1) well that’s true, i’m not really using my degree. and i don’t do that much. but it’s not a waste of time because it pays the bills. i won’t be here forever, it’s a transition.
2) i will usually do anything to save money, but living close to friends in a new state is worth the $120 i spend on gas commuting each month.
3) ryan is not a loser. he’s in school right now and i’m not. he tries to be more responsible and he will come through.
4) i wish i could see myself through his eyes. i am a dang good girlfriend though and i do love him.
5) haha, who isn’t? i always apologize for being unreasonable. i hope i make up for it. and realizing you have a problem is half the battle, right? RIGHT? i am working on this one.

So i managed not to be grumpy and make the best of things. although i didn’t see ryan last night and its easier to be nice with people you aren’t as comfortable with. so, tonight i will test my theory of snapping out of moodiness!

Apparently I think that life is supposed to be easy. I have such a bad attitude sometimes. I feel sorry for my poor wonderful boyfriend because he seriously bears the brunt of it. Just because I don’t love my job, I have to commute, blah blah blah, I feel like that gives me license to be a brat.

So here is my goal. well, the first step in my goal: if I can’t change the way I feel inside yet, at least change the way I act on the outside.

This means:
No more bitching at ryan for stupid little things that don’t matter.
Be grateful for ryan and for the little things he does, because I know he is trying.
No more excuses for bad behavior.

There! and i will keep track on here so it’s fresh in my mind.

i’m tired of being one of those glass-is-half-empty negative people. i know i can relax sometimes, why do i have to have a bad attitude the rest of the time?

I’ve been reading this book about silencing my inner critic, that voice inside that tells me I’m not good enough 24 hours a day. My exercise for the weekend was to write down all the things my critic tells me to undermine my happiness and enjoyment of life. She hit all the marks this weekend:

1. You’re lazy. You should get up and do something.
2. You aren’t a good pet parent. Your animals would be better off with someone else.
3. You are lousy at providing for yourself.
4. It’s embarrassing how irresponsible you are.
5. Look how much weight you’ve put on lately! And your skin looks terrible! You are so unsexy right now.
6. People think you’re extremely odd.
7. No one wants to be with you because you aren’t pretty, together, pure, smart, responsible, interesting, cultured, vivacious or accomplished enough.
8. D probably doesn’t like you enough to call you back.
9. Why did you let yourself get in so much debt? You’ll never be able to pay it off.

I mean, it’s amazing I’m even able to get out of bed. Fortunately, the exercise also had me write a response to each of these, and I found that I had a real truth about myself to respond to each of these criticisms with:

1. It’s ok to veg out sometimes. I work hard during the week.
2. I actually spoil my animals. They have plenty of food and care and love. I put them first.
3. I work very hard and do what I have to to get bills paid. I owe money, but my animals and I have everything we need.
4. Everybody messes up sometimes. It’s not important to be perfect.
5. I look good in spite of needing to shed a few pounds. My skin is a mess because I’m on my period. It usually looks great!
6. I have plenty of friends and family who show me love on a daily basis.
7. Plenty of people much less attractive, accomplished, etc., than me have loving partners. I’ve been in relationships before, and I’ll get in one again. Meanwhile, I have plenty of friends and family who love me.
8. He does like you, and he frequently calls you on his own. He wouldn’t spend time with you if he didn’t like you. Plus, every time he gets drunk he talks about how hot you are.
9. No point in retro-blame. I’m doing the best I can do deal with the situation now.

You try it! It really seems to help. I don’t feel as cruddy about myself today.