take more chances

Some things are worth the risk. Some things aren’t. I considered taking a big risk today. This seemed to be much more than just taking a chance. I’m willing to chance things, but not risk things.

I’m still open to chances.

i take chances…just the wrong ones i prefer to call them risks, i take risks on love and end up broken hearted. i think its important to know what risks to take because to whole idea of a risk is that it could end up two ways good or bad and you need to ask yourself if its worth it.

This goal will help me get over social anxiety as well, but it’s so hard. I just wish I had more chances to take chances, haha.

I have officially moved to Austin without a job lined up. Currently applying for jobs, with one interview coming up so far, and looking for roommates.

Would be more excited if I wasn’t so f’ing stressed. Will be excited in retrospect, though. :)

This goal, too, is ongoing. I don’t know that I’ll ever consider this goal “accomplished”, because every day I wake up and get to try again. However, things I have done in pursuit of attaining this goal include:

applying to go to Spain
actually going to Spain
wearing more dresses
telling my boyfriend how i feel
introducing myself to my professors
applying for a job at SBS
applying for lots of other jobs even though I didn’t get them
attempting multiple times to walk to class in Valencia (this was taking a chance because i got lost and was late on more than one occassion, a semiserious offense there, in defense of trying to get to know my surroundings and see the city)

This is all that comes to mind, but I will try to keep some kind of list in mind in the future. I hope it can include moving somewhere with or without a job lined up, doing something cheesy & romantic, something physically dangerous, like mountain climbing or skydiving, etc. We shall see.

now to just see if they pay off…...........

i wanna stop sitting in the shadows all the time

I find that you miss out on a lot of experiences if you don’t. I’m afraid I’ll die and my last thought will go to all the chances I’ve missed. I’m already thinking about how my life would be if had been more risky and less scared.

I’m a wuss. I’m too careful & think too much. I’m not much of a risk taker. I prefer the familiar & comfortable to something unknown & intriguing. I’d rather forfeit a good opportunity than risk to be screwed over. I wish I could take more chances. I can make little steps. I’ve already done that & it feels good. I learn to be braver, to deal with failures if those occur & through it I learn to not take things too seriously. But it takes time & determination.

Yeah, I’ve been taking chances lately.
Ones that scare the crap out of me.
But it’s worth it because it makes me finally feel alive.