be a better Christian

OK IM GOING TO DO THIS GOAL! IM NOT GOING TO TRY BECUASE I KNOW IM NOT GOING TO QUIT. I FEEL LIKE MY FAITH IS STRONG RIGHT NOW BUT THERES ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVMENTS. ILL TAKE IT SLOW, AND READ A A COUPLE OF PAGES FROM THE BIBLE BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP. AND ILL WORK MY WAY UP FROM THERE.

So I paid this girl to write my essay. She said she and her boyfriend worked hard on it, gave me the flash drive and was on her way.
I found out she didn’t help out too much and the boyfriend copied it RIGHT from the internet. Great, huh?

Now I’m accused of plagarism, but Im not in trouble, so it’s okay. I’m just mad that they took my money and didn’t even do the work. But they are giving me my money back (I hope)

I could start rumors to make myself feel better. And yes, it would make me feel very very good. But I’m not going to. Whats a major theme in christianty? Forgiveness, seventy times seven. She forgave me for being a total bitch to her and I’m sure I can forgive them for doing something compleatly STUPID. ^{I could have just pulled an all nighter and bullshitted an essay…}

lesson learned, and I’ll try not to a bitch towards her. For now.

I had always been mischevious until the day i hit rock bottom…. i believe that GOD gives us all chances to be a better christians, its just that we have to realize that GOD is giving us these chances.. i am fortunate to have been given the chance to realize….. praise the good lord for this, follow his commandments and love GOD earnestly….. this im goin to try do…. amen

Its like I am helping God write the book of judgement on my life. I havent been doing any good deeds. I need to honestly concentrate on being a good christian because I can die anytime. Im not having sex or anything but I am just lying and doing other sinful things. I am going to try and occupy my time with my weight loss journey and stop doing irrelevant things that will not help improve my life.

I’ve been sort of flakey recently with keeping up with my Christianity. I haven’t been to a church I like in a really long time, and I certainly can’t claim that I think of God first in most, let alone every decision I make.

So I think it’s time to shape up on my Christianity!

Like I said, my faith has ups and downs. Now, the ups and downs are getting worse and worse.

First of all, I need to get rid of all the crap in my life, like anger and how I judge people. I’ve put so much effort into getting closer to God, I can’t just give up now. That’s definetly not what I want (even though it feels like it sometimes =[ )

I am working on this goal even though I live 2 different lives. I lie and deceive people but deep down I do care about people and love people. I love to help people and show them the right things to do even though I am not a good example. Tonight I deleted all the horny guys who I talk to on yahoo messenger who I met on the internet and then I uninstalled yahoo messenger. After that I listened to some christian songs on youtube. Everytime I start listening to christian songs and singing I notice that I feel overwhelmed with joy. I cant stop smilng while I am singing and I start to think about Gods love for me.

The changes that I have made since my last post…I have been reading the bible, praying for 2 mornings out of this week and listening to gospel music nearly everyday. I have a long way to go before I can tick this goal of but I know I will get there eventually.

My faith has ups and downs. And this time I realize I need to be more active or whatever in my faith to make sure it doesn’t get to a low point again. In Luke 13:24 it says something like do everything you can to enter that narrow door.
I’ve already done a few things to keep my faith up. First of all, I’m going to go to my favorite church and I’m not skipping my thursday bible study meetings anymore. It’s only for a half hour, it’s not like I’m giving up my whole day. And its right after school, at school. I have no excuse not to go.

I also have an alarm set for 8pm, it’s when I take my birth control for PMS and drop everything and read my bible and pray. So its gaurenteed I’ll read.

I always have relapses back to focusing on what I want to accomplish for me, and it makes me distant from God. It’s a constant tug of war battle going on.

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=905620397b19c9d24978