be proud of myself

When I was achieving in school, I never felt proud of myself. Now, I don’t follow through on almost anything I want to do.

I am putting together my list so I can record my achievements and start feeling proud of myself.

I donated a small bag of clothing to one of those charity bins!

Why is it so hard for me to let go of all my old things?

I have to do it little by little or it’s even harder!

But still proud I did it anyway!

Thanks to a gentle push received here (thanks Crunchy) I took care of my car today. Rather than sleep late, I got up early and took it over to Firestone. I knew I needed rear tires but delayed it, thinking I’d be selling or trading the car in. Since the new car didn’t materialize, I need to take care of the car I still have.

I actually bought 4 new tires. Thankfully, it was Buy 3, Get 1 free. I also got what they called a “vacation package” (oil change plus they checked everything) at a discount and opened a Firestone credit card which took $30 off the total bill. A help because the bill was more than I’d planned.

It may not seem like it but this was big for me. I didn’t just put it on my to-do list. I didn’t avoid it until I was in desperate need and started to stress over it. And I didn’t wait to ask my dad what to do. I made a decision and just did it. Yeah me.

A year ago yesterday, I attended my first meeting for an organization which has become a priority in my life.

On 8/29/08, I’d hit the bottom of an emotional pit and I could not climb out. But beginning 8/30, a day at a time, I began to change. Call it a light at the end of the tunnel, an epiphany, an awakening -I am now more in tune with myself emotionally, physically and spiritually.

I am not perfect and I accept that. What ever made me think I had to be? I’m still working thru that one.

I am not fixed because I was never broken. I’m me and I accept myself and my defects. I haven’t acknowledged ALL of my defects yet but I will eventually.

I accept others and their defects. What made me think I could change others? I can only change myself.

I get a lot of positive feedback from people in the organization about how well I’m doing. It’s wonderful to hear but it’s very easy to let it go to my head. I need to remind myself that a little humility goes a lot further than arrogance.

There are 3 things I can do better than anyone else: I can take care of myself better, treat myself better and love myself better than anyone. And I’m finally doing just that.

For this I am most proud. And g-d willing, I always will be.

Pfft- time to get back on this bandwagon

With having hit the big-50 this year, I began thinking of all of the medical things they tell you to take care of. #1 on the list? Colonoscopy.

So, being the adult I’m trying to be, I booked an appointment for Tuesday. The instructions were no solid food after Sunday night (what?!), only liquids all day Monday, start taking Dulcolax and Miralax in the evening and nothing at all on test day.

Fasting is hard work. It’s funny because I am a scheduled eater – I plan what to eat and when. But how do I plan BROTH? JELLO?

Taking the medication wasn’t too bad – I mixed it in Peach Crystal lite – very tasty! I’ve heard of women that take laxatives to lose weight but HOW do they function? Sure, I did lose 3 lbs but I couldn’t leave the house!

The day of the test, I wasn’t nervous – probably because I was dying of thirst. The staff was great, made me feel really comfortable. The anesthesiologist told me the drug I’d be given was the one Michael Jackson wanted “to sleep better”. Let me tell you, he was right – I was out before I knew it – then awake 45 minutes later, feeling OK (just so thirsty).

The test was easy.
The results were great (“perfect; clean-as-a-whistle” per the dr)
The dinner I had that night was the best meal I ever ate.

I’m proud of myself for taking care of myself, for taking this test which so many people shy away from. I’m here to tell you it’s EASY and can save your life. Do it.

It’s hard to be true to myself and show people who I really am..I find that I always worry that people would reject me if they see the real me..I want to learn to be proud of myself .. of who I really am..so what if my spiritual belief is different..as long as I am a better person because of it.. there’s nothing bad about it. Just because being bad is an in-thing does not mean that I have to follow or be affected. Let me be proud of myself and work towards being a better person who is not afraid of being honest with others and myself.

I got this “reminder” email from nj.quit.net, the support site for people trying to quit smoking:

Your Quit Date is: Friday, July 07, 2006
Time Smoke-Free: 1096 days
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 16,444
Lifetime Saved: 4 months, 5 days, 14 hours
Money Saved: $4,110.00

Can it really be 3 years since I quit? I smoked for 28 years (1978 to 2006) and hardly remember being a smoker.
Quiting smoking is probably the single “best” thing I’ve ever done for myself.

I highly recommend it. It’s not easy – but as they say “if it was easy, everyone would be doing it”

Not scholastic tests – medical. I had bloodwork done plus a few extras. Just like being in a new age bracket on surveys, turning 50 opened a whole new medical can of worms to think about.
All the numbers are good, with a minor blip. The cholesteral is up a wee bit. No biggee – I’m back on the meds (at 1/2 dose) but also added ground flax seed to my diet. The doctor was happy with my decision to do both.
Never before have I taken responsibility for my physical health like I do now. A doctor can tell me what I need to do, but I have to do it. My body can tell me it hurts, but I have to listen. I am the only one who can take care of me. And I’m going to do it well.

just a little bit more confident makes me proud of myself!
And happy too!