stop hating everyone

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I’m just filled with so much hate…all the time. I really do hate people and I have no idea why. I believe I need to start talk therapy again, but no one wants to take Medicaid, and I hate that. People say get help and when you try, no one cares to help. I hate everyone and everything, but myself the most. I really need help.

She promised me! She promised! She promised me that she was going to live on and everything will be alright, yet she fell asleep and never woke up!

Since the time I joined this grp and now, I think I had a change in perspective and I look and treat things and people a bit differently. Though I cannot help myself hating a few people, I have overcome this instinct with everyone. I try to put myself in their shoes and I feel I would behave in the same way ..this stops me from hating the other person as I will be hypocrite if I still hate him/her…

I am trying to mind my own business without trying to judge everything/everybody…

Live and let live..

I don’t understand why people can’t see how irritating they are? I mean this one guy I know, thnks he knows everything! And makes everyone else feel like idiots. I mean I know I’m annoyng but at least I apologise for it now and again. Am I insane?

I don’t actually “hate” everyone… just big crowds, angry mobs, rush hour commuters, dawdling grannies during lunchtime shopping, Christmas shoppers, um that sort of thing… ;)
Hmm but I do hate collectives of people such as: rude people, inconsiderate people (a subgroup of rude people?), people who eat with their mouths open (again, a subgroup of rude people?)... so actually it’s just rude people then. Oh and bullies, “queen bee” types… um, gosh I think I could go on with quite a list come to think of it. :D
Well it’s not technically Everyone though, so maybe I’ve actually achieved this goal…

Someone I didn’t hate, my friend Nikki, died last week. He didn’t have a mean bone in his body, I never heard him insult anyone…

He was a semi-known musician and he made everyone he met feel so special that even people who’d only met him the once have been posting messages of sympathy and saying how much they miss him.

That’s what I want to be like. I want to be able to see the good and the interesting side in everyone. I can but try…

From my other task, “Improve My Social Life”

I’m fine “one on one” but I just can’t handle being in a crowd of people. I go out and come back feeling like crying, I think I have acceptance issues or something – I always feel like the outsider.

And every time that happens, I just go into anti-social mode again and “mole up”.

I have three weeks in hospital as of this week, perhaps that will drive me to insanity so I actually don’t CARE about the quality of the time I spend ‘out’. At the moment I could quite happily be a hermit for the rest of my life.

And I guess that’s why I hate people. How can something that’s meant to make you feel good (going out and socialising) make you feel so angry and sad?

Perhaps I should be proud to hate people! heh.

I like, maybe, 3 people in my life. I argue like crazy with those people – that’s because every time I need a friend, they’re the only ones I can turn to, and so I put a lot of emotional demands on them, when they have other people they need to be there for, too.

When I have friends, they bug me and bore me after a while. I can’t be bothered to stay in touch with them.

I play mindgames on the internet with people I’ve never met, they all think I’m spiffy and cool and funny, when really, I just do it out of boredom and because I have no one to go out with. I can’t stand 99% of these people.

I tend not to like new people until they prove they are likeable instead of liking people until they annoy me. I need to reverse that….