visualize myself successful and happy

I’ve got it down. Completely. I am successful and happy. I have come a LONG way since I started using 43things.com. It’s awesome to realize goals and follow them through! This one is especially worthwhile.

I seriously had major difficulties with this when I started out. Since then however it’s getting better. I wouldn’t say ‘I’ve done this’ yet but I am on my way. I have found myself doing this in public recently, on the subway or in other social situations. It really does inspire much more confidence, relieve anxiety and allow me to relax when I do take the time to visualize myself successful and happy. I look forward to continued growth in the new year. Good luck to everyone else on this journey!

I got some great positive affirmation hypnosis tracks I’m listening to daily. This will bring this goal in focus!

I borrowed this book by Susan Jeffers, PhD at the public libary. It is pretty good. One of the things I am coming to realize is that despite all the great things going on in my life and all my accomplishments so far, I don’t have much faith in myself, so now, whenever I start to think I can’t handle something, I stop myself right away and think, “I can handle it!”

Hopefully, there will be a day when I don’t have to tell myself this and will just automatically assume it is true. By then, I will have this internalized :)

A sad fact occurred to me yesterday. When faced with certain difficulties where I have had to choose to either sink or swim, I have in my short history too often made the choice to sink. I feel as though this is a particularly horrible, horrible thing for someone who is aspiring to be a doctor to realize about themself. How can I expect myself to be responsible for someone else’s life when I have treated my own so disrespectfully? If I can’t get over my anxieties and the whole inertia of making these choices, how the heck am I going to react when someone else’s life is on the line? God knows, I am more than aware of all the things I need to change about myself, but do I have the courage, patience, and vision to actually carry through with making these changes? Can I be a more proactive person and a less reactive one? I really need to prove to myself I can do this. Otherwise, I am going to be stuck somewhere I don’t want to be, and too far to reach my goals.

Monday & Wednesday this week were down days. Why? I don’t know. What do I mean by down? When I’m down I question myself, I have irrational fears, I feel terribly lonely, I assume a negative self image, I lose motivation. Tuesday was fine and today seems alright. I have been making many positive changes in my life, I really don’t know why the downs are still hitting. Yesterday I meditated for two hours. I felt a little better afterwards but not fully. I believe I will be successful and happy. I sure can be impatient though.

I’m coming to realize that one of the reasons it was difficult for me to visualize myself successful and happy when I initially undertook this goal was that I didn’t have a clear picture in my head. Slowly I’m developing it and making it more and more concrete. The more concrete it is, the easier to visualize!

I like the idea of having a mantra. In my own way, I have been trying to replace all the unhappy thoughts in my head with happier, more proactive ones. Unfortunately, this hasn’t been so helpful keeping me on track working on my goals. I still have yet to finish an application to grad school. Maybe instead of telling myself how much work I still need to do, I will try to visualize myself working on my application and then finishing it. Another thing, I really need to do is set 2 hours of my evening aside to work on it. Okay, that is going to be my game plan for this week. I will work on my apps after class tomorrow and will have a draft of one whole paragraph done before I go to sleep tomorrow!!

I was feeling crappy earlier and having some anxiety that I couldn’t get rid of so I tried to write it out. I ended up writing about all the fears that were causing the anxiety and then got to a point where I wrote “I am going to be the best person I can be.” Then I thought about the ‘Creative Visualization’ book I’ve been reading and it says that when you do affirmations you should do them as if you’ve already achieved them. I changed it to “I am the best person I can be.” It ended up really making me feel better and I focused on this thought for the next ten minutes or so and all the anxiety left me and I felt much better about everything. Progress.

It’s really inspiring and I think I’m heading in the right direction with this goal.