never drink again

well i haven’t drank any booze in 6 months and its quite awesome. No more ” omg i did that?”,no more hangovers,no more seeing pictures you don’t remember taking…. yes im very proud of myself…

New goal! No more booze….makes me sick and I am so OVER been the chick in the gutter making as ass of her self…so thats it…Im done :)

It is way easier not to drink at all than to have just one glass of wine.

That was on the menu of the Thai restaurant we went to tonight.

We wanted meaningful food, so we went with other choices.

And we drank tea, which as it turns out is at least as good as Riesling with Thai food, and quite possibly better.

When I’m not drinking at all I tend to spend long periods of time making lists and plans. I remember now that I was like this years ago before I started having wine every night. And then, as now, I would wonder if there was something wrong with me.

Is there something wrong with a woman who spends hours figuring out handmade Christmas gifts for people…then decides that no, she’s going to take up quilting instead, and spends hours coming up with a plan for a quilt? Or who reads a book about (oh, this is embarrassing) accessories, and gets all excited and makes incredibly intricate plans (over the course of several days) about accessorizing well for not much $$$?

It doesn’t quite seem normal. But of course I know it’s pretty normal for me. Mostly I am just amused by my own obsessions…

This is generally a wine-drinking event. It’s actually not too hard for me not to drink in a social situation…I didn’t drink at book club last month…it’s solo drinking I have a problem with, when there’s no one around to see or judge me and even G. tends not to notice whether I’m on my 2nd or 5th glass of wine.

People will bring wine over, but I’ll try to encourage them to take the leftovers home. If they don’t, then I’ll dump the remainders. It’ll seem like a shame, but drinking it would be a bigger shame.

COFFEE (the true drink of a writer!)

tea out of pretty china tea cups, which I happen to have

juice drinks made fresh in a juicer, which I also happen to have

iced herbal tea, very nice in the summer

lassi (SP? Indian milk drink? I’ve never had it)

diet soda (don’t even try to make me worry about aspartame, cause it’s just not going to happen…)

water, water, water

I feel so embarrassed, but it’s true. Sometimes when I drink I drink too much.

Last night was bad. My drinking led to a bad situation. I don’t even want to share details because I’m so embarrassed.

I need to stop NOW.

In the past I’ve had the idea that maybe I’ll just drink on special occasions. But that doesn’t work for me, because then I slip into the everyday drinking habit. I wasn’t drinking for a few weeks before we went to Philly. And then on that trip I drank…there was a rehearsal dinner, a wedding, etc. etc…and then when I came home I was back into drinking again.

I remember yesterday morning I was in such a wonderful mood…going to church, getting my errands done, just happy. Would I have kept that happy mood if I hadn’t had anything to drink? I think I would have.

Other people can drink like normal people, in moderation, but I run into problems too often. Enough is enough.

Well this has proven to be impossible and probably is. But its just to remind me how bad i feel after a mental night out!