be more responsible

What with guiding my flute section, being Garbmistress for RenClub, I’m becoming more responsible (if a bit too hardcore at times) (sorry!). I’m letting some of my classes slip a bit though…Gotta work on that!! I’m really excited for the KUMRC Dinner this year!!Hopefully, like the exec board said, I can help make this the best year in a long time (yet!!) <3
AND I can get back on track with what I’m doing and where i’m going!!

I have let others run my life since shortly before my divorce.

So. I’ve gotten about half the summer list done, but I’m not so sure about the second half, considering that i’m:
-doing training at work to be a monitor
-doing training at work at the customer service
-going to be a section leader in marching band this year
-going to help two “little sisters” in my fraternity/major
-need to save money as much as possible
-going to start bandcamp.classes in 13ish days
-so busy, I don’t have much time for my man :(

Well, you do what you can, and you have to forget about what you can’t. I’m not really liking all this resppnsibility…being an adult really sucks. But then again, I can take control or at least nudge situations so that they meet my needs. Thank God!

Whilst responsibility is never a negative thing, it can also be… put on hold, I suppose one could say. Observe:

In my last entry I gave the somewhat unexplained example of not mowing the lawn as something I should be more on top of.

Yesterday I slept in, as I do most summer days, and my father came to the door of my room: “Hey son. Wanna go see Batman?”

“I thought I was sposed to mow the lawn,” I replied, as lawn-mowing is something done in the earlier part of the day in our tradition, and if we were to see Batman I would be unable to mow the lawn.

“Ehhh mow it tomorrow. Get up, let’s go.”

What did I learn from this? It took me awhile, and I had to rummage through BS, but I found something. While my father was relying on me to mow the lawn, it was not an imperative necessity, whereas seeing Batman was. After a remarkable opening weekend, the hype was too much to take without taking part in it, especially seeing as my father and I are old comic book collectors and long-time Batman fans. It was a Monday, early afternoon, when adults are normally working and the children may be in summer school and the teens and young adults probably saw the midnight showing or a big weekend showing. And have you heard about Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker? Posthumous Oscar babblings, I hear.

It was obvious what we had to do.

Simply put, there are things I need to do now, and there are things I need to do in the next week, and there are things I need to do eventually. Figuring out what goes in which rough category is necessary to get things done as they need to be, and in a timely, organized fashion.

I am a decent/good student, but I want to be an excellent one. My study skills are mediocre and I skip classes. These are bad things.

I was supposed to mow the lawn today, but instead I’m doing it tomorrow. I put things off, sometimes so late it hurts me and others. Bad news bears.

I manage my time like a hobo manages his finances. I sit around and think about quality things I could be doing and how I can be more productive, then I stop thinking and continue sitting. Hot damn.

I don’t really manage my finances well either. Much of that comes from my not having an income, but that will likely change in the next year seeing as my parents aren’t making much of anything right now. Sigh.

In summary: to improve myself and prepare for real adulthood and its associated responsibilities, I must consciously try. Look at me right now, sitting on my ass writing about wanting to try to become more responsible! Well I suppose documenting it solidifies the idea a bit. And it needs some solidification, especially if this one gets its act together.

There’s more, but there always will be. This isn’t one of those goals you put on a checklist with an empty box next to it with the intention of soon filling that box. No, this is an ongoing goal, a “forever” goal if you will. Those buttons on the right side of the screen giving me the option of telling everyone that “I’ve done this” or “I give up” will never be pressed. The former is naive and just silly, and the latter is utterly irresponsible.

This is not very easy at times and I have learned that being responsible is a responsibility in itself. As with all things, small gains equal big strides!

I’m trying my best in my classes….ugh. I do my best to be polite and productive at work, and I’ve got a list of things to get done this summer. I’m doing okay with the car bill so far, and hopefully I will get my room cleaned up shortly. Here’s to taking charge!

I have made sooooo many improvements. I am so much better about money and cleaning and laundry – like a 180. I have more responsibility at work and have done a great job at it.

I still have miles to go in being more responsible with the relationships in my life and promises I’ve made to myself.

But hey – what an improvement I have made!

Yeah me!

been forgetting my responsiblities

I’m working on this. I’m getting work done when I need to, I’ve got a car I have to pay off now, I need to pull my grades up, and I need to get going on the PRAXIS. I slip here and there with emotions, but nobody said being responsible was easy. I’m going for it though!