LAUGH AS OFTEN AS POSSIBLE

smile cuz u never know who is falling inlove with ur smile 2 years ago

ive laughed a lot now and somehow my laugh has gotten a lot louder 0.0 3 years ago

Everybody laughs the same in every language,
because laughter is a universal connection. 3 years ago

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa 3 years ago

i have done this and it is awsome. If you are reading this i have a fabulouse joke to tell:

An English professor told her students that there would be no excuse for not showing up for their final exam, except for serious injury, illness, or a death in the student’s immediate family. A smartass jock in the back of the room asked, “What about extreme sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class did its best to stifle their laughter. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled sympathetically at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, “You can write with your other hand.”

i think it’s hillarious, hope you enjoy it! 4 years ago

Who figured out out to make this sort of movie?
Someone VERY intelligent
With some free time :)
We have much to be
thankful for
That is for sure

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJzU3NjDikY 5 years ago

US astronaut Jeff Williams, floating 354km (220 miles) above Earth at the ISS, was taping a message in advance for the space agency that was transmitted accidentally over space-to-ground radio.

“We’ve been calling it the crew exploration vehicle for several years, but today it has a name – Orion,” he said. 5 years ago

Laugh often.
A cure for stress can sometimes be as simple as having a chuckle. Taking life too seriously can inevitably lead to stress and an abundance of worries. Therefore, it’s important to laugh as often as possible and take situations for what they really are. Science agrees, laughter can sometimes be the best medicine.
Like exercise, laughter triggers the release of endorphins, which relieve tension and remove stress hormones from the body. So watch a funny movie, be with people who make you laugh, find a good joke Web site or a funny daily comic and let yourself laugh until your stomach hurts (but not too badly, or you’ll probably get stressed out). 5 years ago

I do unsolemnly swear,
To turn up each side of my mouth,
And to smile as often as possible,
I agree to laugh several times daily.
And to give and receive at least three hugs per day!
I vow to have frequent bouts of silliness,
And more happiness for no reason.
From this day forth,
I promise to laugh long and prosper.

by Diana Loomans with Julia Godoy 5 years ago

“Laughter is extremely important because it can brighten dark surroundings, add light to a gloomy situation, or break a silence. Fun is the glue holding life together. Funliness is next to cleanliness!”
Sarah Cunningham, a Seventh Grader 5 years ago

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC? 5 years ago

Shouldn’t there be a shorter word for “monosyllabic”? 5 years ago

They’re the only culture some people have.
—Unknown 5 years ago

I don’t approve of political jokes… I’ve seen too many get
elected.
~Anonymous 5 years ago

These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: Paul, can you get an elephant drunk?
A: Paul Lynde: Yes, but he still won’t go up to your apartment.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think he’s really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he’s married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I love you”?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q: Prometheus was tied to the top of a mountain by the gods because he had given something to man. What did he give us?
A: Paul Lynde: I don’t know what you got, but I got a sports shirt.

Q: What are “Do It”, “I Can Help” and “Can’t Get Enough”?
A: George Gobel: I don’t know but it’s coming from the next apartment.

Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter…and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget!

Q: According to Zsa Zsa, does black look sexy on a woman?
A: Redd Foxx: I wouldn’t have it any other way…

Q: What are “dual purpose” cattle good for that other cattle aren’t?
A: Paul Lynde: They give milk and cookies…but I don’t recommend the cookies!

Q: If you find someone lying unconscious in the street, should you do anything?
A: George Goebel: I’d probably crawl around him I guess.

Q: Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q: Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I’m too busy growing strawberries!

Q: In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q: Eddie, according to the Institute of Motivational Research, a wife should be beware if another woman takes an interest in a certain item of her husband’s clothing. What item?
A: Ed Asner: Well, shorts immediately springs to my mind…

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q: True or false…a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes…

Q: Is there a weight limit for bags on airline flights in this country?
A: Charley Weaver: If she can fit under the seat, she can fly.

Q: During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A: Rose Marie: Unfortunately, Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

Q: Can boys join the camp fire girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

Q: True or false, George…experts say there are only seven or eight things in the world dumber than an ant.
A: George Gobel: Yes, and I think I voted for six of ‘em.

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: Is it possible for the puppies in a litter to have more than one daddy?
A: Paul Lynde: Why, that bitch!

Q: While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting “Poo! Poo! Poo!” What does that mean?
A: George Goebel: Cattle crossing.

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body—what is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected!

Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more than 150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q: According to Movie Life magazine, Ann-Margaret would like to start having babies soon, but her husband wants her to wait a while. Why?
A: Paul Lynde: He’s out of town.

Q: Dennis Weaver, Debbie Reynolds, and Shelley Winters star in the movie “What’s The Matter With Helen?” Who plays Helen?
A: Charley Weaver: Dennis Weaver – that’s why they asked the question.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Q: James Stewart did it over twenty years ago when he was forty-one years old. Now he says it was “one of the best things I ever did.” What was it?
A: Marty Allen: Rhonda Fleming.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q: If you’re going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake.

Q: Your baby has a certain object which he loves to cling to. Should you try to break him of his habit?
A: Joan Rivers: Yes. It’s daddy’s turn. 5 years ago

1. Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit.
2. It’s been hotter’n a goat’s ass in a pepper patch.
3. He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way
down.
4. Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ‘saucered and blowed.
5. She’s so stuck up; she’d drown in a rainstorm.
6. It’s so dry; the trees are bribing the dogs.
7. My cow died last night so I don’t need your bull.
8. Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.
9. He’s as country as cornflakes.
10. This is gooder’n grits.
11. Busier than a cat covering shit on a marble floor.
12. If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help
me enjoy it. 5 years ago

A man takes his dog to the vet. “My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?”

“Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him.” So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says “I’m going to have to put him down.”

“What? Because he’s cross-eyed?”

“No, because he’s really heavy.” 5 years ago

Where Are We Going? And why Am I in This Handbasket? 5 years ago

Finish Your Beer.
There are sober people in India. 5 years ago

A Device for Finding Furniture in the Dark 5 years ago

Gravity… It’s Not Just a Good Idea.
It’s the Law 5 years ago

Dyslexics Are Teople Poo! 5 years ago

Alcohol and Calculus Don’t Mix.
Never Drink and Derive. 5 years ago

Dyslexics Have More Fnu 5 years ago

We have enough youth, how about a fountain of INTELLIGENCE? 5 years ago

Someone has too much time on their hands…
How did they do this? I mean, it MUST be fake. 5 years ago

Laughter is the language of the Gods.
- Buddhist saying 5 years ago

From: http://jenn.wiked.org/random/chicken.html

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER
The chicken’s habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don’t know why the chicken crossed the road, but I’ll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I’ll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I’m talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay. Isn’t it obvious? Can’t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the ‘other side’. That’s what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.”

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together – in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook, and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one? 5 years ago

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
A backward poet writes inverse.
A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired.
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway.)
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off!
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn’t find the key.
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted – It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. 5 years ago

Whoever thought up the word “Mammogram”? Every time I hear it, I think I’m supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone.
~Jan King 5 years ago