It made me

How I did it: 4 years. That;s at least how long it took. I have been trying for at least that long. Major depression nearly wrecked my life. I took pills, but they never helped. They only made my life more stressful due to side effects.

I literally had to had hack my brain.  All the books, all the motivational speakers are bullshit. Try harder, push father.

Bullshit.
When your done pushing, you can figure it out.

I lost everything. Run out of town with a bag on my pack. No where to go. That's when it clicked for me.

I couldn't be happy when i started. So don't start trying to be happy. Start by not caring. Seriously. Something goes wrong, don't dwell on it. Just say "fuck it" and move on. You don't have to be happy, just not care.

Then, as time goes on, you can move to finding happiness, but fist, don't care. Seriously don't care. Actively don't care. I did this, When i was offered a job, I took it. overtime? Sure.

Eventually you will find things to care about. But I see the problem being at first that I did care. And I was upset about shit.

I got hit by a car. Fuck it. I was too tired to care.

Firstly, stop caring about anything. Trust me on this. Stop caring about outcomes.

The second thing is to, after not caring, leanr something new everyday. Force yourself to do somethign new. A new song, a new news story. Do this even if you hate it ( I dislike rap and dubstep). Why? because you are likely suffering from dopamine resistance, and dopamine makes you happy. Dopamine is released by novelty - new things.

thirdly, cut down on wanking. I'm no religious nut, but wanking causes a reduction in happiness hormones and can cause the destruction of dopamine uptake receptors over time. So cut down.

Finally, change your diet. Eat more veggies, and eat more saturated fat. carbohydrates can cause dopamine and opioid release that stunts your ability to feel good. Saturated fat is turned by your body into hormones. Read how I did it… 16 months ago