It's Been Over A Year...
15 months ago
In May 2007, Shampoo started posting about me in her blog again. She’s been quiet since then. The cycle my finally be over.
How to know when to walk away
It made me
I'm healing. 
"It can take time to decide whether walking away is the right thing for you, your family, and your emotional, spiritual and physical health."
How I did it: I stopped trying to make everything right for him. I stopped taking personal responsibility for his happiness. I stopped making myself accept his unacceptable behavior. I stopped making excuses for his behavior and for mine. I accepted that he was not happy and I could not fix that. I finally acknowleged that even after 16 years together, it was right to step back and walk away.
Note: We did not have children so that was not something I or we had to consider. I've never been pregnant or responsible for a child. I have nothing to offer on how that dynamic affects knowing when to walk away.
Lessons & tips: - Walking away can be one of the most difficult decisions in your life. But even if you decide that's the rioght thing for you (and your children),
- It does not mean that you necessarily have to walk away from all the extended relationships that your partnership created. My former (second) husband's family members remain the closest of friends to me.
- I remain the best of friends with my former (second) husband. We get along. We call each other when we need help (he fixes my computer, I do his taxes, etc.)
- The end of our marriage is not related to his new partner. She and I can be (and are) very cordial. I have no reason to hold a grudge against her. Even if he'd been in a relationship with her while we were still together, it would not have been about her. It would have been about me and him.
- To forgive is devine.
- Once family, always family, and family just keeps growing. An expansive view of family is a joy.
- Just because you can't live together in peace anymore doesn't mean your parting must be angry or vengeful. Being generous and giving eases the pain.
Resources: Good friends, my loving mother, my favorite father figure (who is my first husband's father), and my big brother.
People doing this are also doing these things:
Entries
I know that I need to WALK away !
20 months ago
I know that I need to walk away from my relationship as soon as I can. I believe that you should not hurt someone that you love or even have strong feelings for. In my case im the one hurting it’s like he knows what he’s doing to me. But yet he wont stop and it’s getting worst. But I must admit that it’s hard to let go !!!!!!
Untitled
21 months ago
How do you know when enough is enough? How do you when to finally say goodbye and let go? How do you know when the love you first shared is no longer burning deep within you? I mean do you just figure it out, does it just hit you one day or does it take some sort of event to slap you in the face before you realize it? And if you do know, how do you just walk away? Can someone tell me please.
Healthy walking away actions
2 years ago
I have walked away from 2 unfulfilling and unhealthy relationships and a few sub-par professional positions in the past 30 years. I think it is inordinately healthy to know when to do this and it never fails to open up better opportunities for me.
Becky is procrastinating
Walked away today
2 years ago
Fly away little bird
Any place in this open mouthed world
Begs to be fed like a bed that beckons you, but you won’t rest
Everyone’s got a need to go
Most of us stick with our row to hoe
But not you, you’re the black crow
With a straight line, and no time
For the birds of prey who wreck your nest
Twice your size steal your best
They set you on this course of your collision
I am a stop along your way
I am the words you’ll never say
I crossed the great beyond of fear
I opened my eyes and saw us there, what a view
You went there too
Fly away little bird
Find the song in you that no one’s heard
Strenghthen your wings as you sing your solo flight
Through this short life
Everyone’s got a deep regret
We try to ground ourselves to forget
But your race to the end is neck and neck
You love them, you love them not
The birds of prey who wreck your nest,
Twice your size steal your best
They set you on this course of your collision
I am a stop along your way
I am the words you’ll never say
I crossed the great beyond of fear
Opened my eyes and saw us there, what a view
And you went there too
But all along your chosen path are
Window panes and sheets of glass
That you won’t see
You fly too fast
One day it will be over
Fly away little bird
The saddest song I ever heard
Was the one I wrote you in my heart
That never made it to the world
—Emily Saliers
mis_behavin Living My Dream......
I dont know if I KNOW WHEN to but I did.
2 years ago
I gave my husband the separation papers to sign. It was my idea but it still broke my heart, I never wanted to be Divorced. It was the hardest thing that i’ve ever done.
success.
2 years ago
I walked again, away from friends this time, a number of months ago. It had become taxing, trying to keep up with the drama, so I walked.
I gave it a second chance last week, feeling out the situation for a warm and welcome return, and found only rejection.
I tried. I did not fail, because I can walk away with dignity intact.
Sigh...
2 years ago
Shampoo is at it again…posting pesonal jabs, copying things from my website…will she ever go away?
Untitled
2 years ago
Ive never been able to walk away..even when my BF/Fiance was cheating on me while i was pregnant…i was only 18..i didnt know what to do…but now im 20 and i hope next time some idiot is the same that i have the strength to turn and walk away…
