stop obsessing about my appearance

Ugh…is this going to be a lifelong struggle? Lately I feel so down in the dumps. I’ve let myself go because I’ve put on some weight since August, and stopped working out religiously and eating obsessively healthy. Boo!

I really need to work on this one, it preoccupies all my thought lately. I feel so shallow, and bad about myself.

So I haven’t been obsessing as much, but I think this is only because I feel like I look better. I’ve lost 15 lbs in the past 6 months, finished my series of photofacials and microdermabrasion, and am nearly done with the laser hair removal. The master cleanse I did miraculously cleared up my skin.

I don’t know, I guess I have gotten a little better because going to therapy has helped my self-esteem A LOT. That makes me obsess a little less. And I decided not to waste money on the Vella Smooth cellulite treatment. I don’t really need it, I can accept my legs with a few dimples here and there.

This continues to be a struggle…but I suppose I’ve made a little progress.

When I went home to Oregon, I noticed I felt really thin. I started to wonder if I looked too thin. Then I got back to LA and felt like I could still lose 5 lbs. WTF.

I’ve spent over $4000 dollars on laser hair removal and photofacials to correct some hyperpigmentation on my face (from tanning, yet another beauty expense) I was considering doing the Vela Smooth for cellulite…enough is enough! No more beaulty treatments…the more I try to improve myself, the more imperfect and flawed I feel. I will never be happy if I keep trying to achieve perfection.