Eat a big steaming bowl of oatmeal for breakfast

a BIG, hot, steaming, bowl of REAL (not the instant stuff) oatmeal with brown sugar and some cream or half and half on it for breakfast!!! (Of course, since I am “loosing the weight” I am refraining from the cream/half and half and sticking to skim milk!)

of oatmeal to my typical hard boiled eggs breakfast. I’m feeling better, it fills me up, & I’m starting to lose weight! Yay oatmeal!

My proctologist had tears in his eyes after my last visit.

“This is the healthiest colon I’ve seen in years,” he announced as he removed his gloves and placed them in the receptacle. “It owes a certain amount to genetics, but the overall state reflects a purposeful dedication to the health and care of this inscrutable organ. Kudos to you, sir.”

“I appreciate your support, good Doctor. I have been eating oatmeal with a generous portion of raisins in my morning fare. It’s a humble dish, but it warms the belly as it fills. I’ve noticed a clockwork-like regularity to my bowels since I’ve made this addition to my diet. For flavor, I add a hint of the butter of peanut, and a dash of brown sugar.”

“Brilliant!” the Doctor exclaimed. He blotted a tear from the corner of his eye with a kerchief.

“I’ve seen a marked improvement since this humble grain replaced my previous staple, bacon-wrapped brie with a cheese danish. My gout has subsided, and I’ve noted a marked decrease in the chest pain I was experiencing.”

“You don’t understand the horrors I’ve seen in my day-to-day. The photographs we’ve taken of this colon of yours will adorn the walls of my office, and I will show them to my colleagues at the upcoming convention. It’s a rare thing to see a specimen with the health and, well, vigor that is exemplified here in yours.”

I took a bow.

Here’s how I roll:
2/3 cup of rolled oats (not that ‘instant’ gruel!)
1 cup hot water
2 tablespoons raisins
2 tablespoons peanut butter
1 tablespoon brown sugar

Drop the oatmeal and raisins into a bowl. Add the water. Nuke for 2 minutes. Allow to cool, and while doing so add in the brown sugar and peanut butter. This is seriously good eating, right here. It’s good (my recipe turns out tasting like an oatmeal cookie), cheap (on the order of $.50 per bowl, generally less), and healthy. I’d been tapping the cheese danish for breakfast, but this has been far better. Since I started eating oatmeal my gout went away, and my leprosy is in remission. Plus I’m shockingly regular now.

Now before you try to tell me “oats are only fit to be fed to horses and hippies”, remember horses run really fast, and hippies are awesome dudes. Just ask Steve Wozniak.