Practice Celibacy

I had sex with someone I never met last night and didn’t use protection. Now I’m shit scared that I may have contracted something pretty serious. So I’ve decided not to have sexual intercourse for the next six months. During that time I plan to be tested three times (once in the new year, once in March and once in June) for STDs to give me peace of mind.

After the six months are over I won’t just jump into bed with the first person I meet. This is a good opportunity for me to re-evaluate the reckless things I’ve been doing and the damage I could potentially be causing myself. It’s a good feeling. I hope this isn’t something bad and just an opportunity for me to change my ways before I end up killing myself.

I’ve been celibate since I had sex for the first time at 16. At the time I had it because I was curious and was tired of waiting – not to mention feeling god damn lonely – and so I just jumped into bed with this guy even though I wasn’t attracted to him really in any way. He was THERE, so I used him.

Afterwards I regretted it so much I decided I wasn’t going to sleep with anyone again unless it meant something.

Now, ten years later, I’m still celibate and I haven’t even been on a date in all that time. I haven’t met anyone I’ve wanted to be with, and the guys I’ve been attracted to haven’t been attracted to me. I have had guys come on to me but they’ve all been drunk, way too old, unattractive to me, or even already in an relationship(!).

I feel very pessimistic about relationships because of this. I feel so bloody lonely but I can’t see myself taking a risk and going for it even if the perfect guy came along.

I still masturbate, don’t know how I’d do without it although I’ve tried to stop several times. I’m clinically depressed as it is so it’s hard to give up this release.

More than sex though I crave touch. Sometimes it’s so bad that I’m happy to accidentally bump into someone on the street, which makes me feel like the most pathetic human being on the planet.

This also makes me hang on to being single so as not to start a relationship just because I’m lonely.

I really wish I could be happy as I am. I think celibacy can be the answer to a lot of people, as long as they have affection from somewhere else. My family isn’t a very touchy-feely family although we are still close, and neither are my friends.

Sigh. Maybe I should just get a pet?

Love causes pain.
Friendship sooths it.

Doing good so far, with very little effort.

So it’s been over one month since I actively decided to be celibate. I mean, I’ve gone without sex for over a month before, and it’s not like I’m even really thinking about sex, but for the past couple of weeks, I’ve been having sex dreams! In fact, in the past week, I have woken up three times actually having an orgasm. I don’t know. This is pretty unusual for me, as normally this only happens to me once or twice a year. I don’t feel all deprived or anything, so why the sex dreams?

Let’s just say they were tired and had too much booze. An hour later, I was on a bus home, the last bus of the night, luckily.

I guess I decided to start being celibate about a month ago. I had just broken up with a guy I had been seeing for a couple of months, nothing serious, and the following night I slept with an exboyfriend. I regretted doing this, and realized that at times I have punished myself subconsciously by sleeping with people when it can have a negative impact on my life. In this case, I was upset about how I broke up with the guy I had been seeing. Also, I find that when I first start dating someone, after I sleep with them, it’s like I can no longer see the real them, I can only see what I want to see in that person. So right now I’m not dating anyone, but when I do, I’m going to remain celibate for quite some time. I want to really get to know them first before sex complicates things. So I am on Day 27 of celibacy. So far, no problem.

I don’t feel enlightened by being inactive. Just greatful. I’d rather break the cycle.

I can’t respect anyone who wants to have sex with me. In fact I have none for them because I haven’t any for myself. Until I find some mutual respect, I’ll focus my energies on crafts or other sex-free pursuits.

im 19 @ i’ve been sexaully active since i was 14 but not im really considering going celibate..i have boyfriend & idk how hes gonna take it(hes out of town)but i’ve been without sex for 6 months & its a struggle any tips on how to go about everything?