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It looks like we only have about 6 weeks of funding left. I have 2 competing lists; find a new job/career vs save the company by doing all the sales and marketing that are needed.
There are many reasons that I’m where I’m at today. Some of my own making, like not learning to be a programmer. Others are because I can’t argue my good ideas relentlessly and lose arguements that I should win. I don’t fight long enough.
We didn’t get our grant, even though its a great idea. Most of the missing parts were things that we cut out of the proposal to save space. We can redo some of it and remake it to submit other places. Thats a big pain but its worth it.
But in the mean time, I need to stay employed. This is hard because of age discrimination. Also, I want to keep my hand in the product and that will be a conflict for most tech jobs. I guess I should go to a recruiter. 1 week ago
Its probably best not to look at a goal like this when you have a complete slump in energy and drive. I was sort of hopeful that if I started typing in here I’d get a little revved up. I see that I have managed to get a calendar and a small notebook. I think the problem is that the notebook isn’t “kick ass” enough.
I think I have to find a new job. We are waiting on a new grant, that will keep me employed for 2 years, if we get it, but I don’t expect that we will. So I have 2 months.
I started reading “Lean In” with some hope that there would be insight into what happened to my career. I’m sort of wondering where to go from here, which is what I’ve done for most of my career. Just lost my enthusiasm. 4 weeks ago
Every year on World Water Day pledge to do something. I always forget. This year I signed a pledge to do something on my birthday. That way at least I’ll get a reminder. Maybe I’ll have a garage sale and donate the proceeds or invent a small something and donate the proceeds. 2 months ago
I just can’t seem to get this done. I probably have a general idea, but need more detail. I must get 2 items to get this goal launched; a calendar and a kick-ass notebook. This shall be my goal for the day. 2 months ago
We submitted a new grant application yesterday so everything in the world in our lives has been on hold for the last month. Actually longer than a month because we were finishing up the previous grant for the months before that. So today I can either rest and watch the Super Bowl or I can clean and make a plan for spring. The first step is the hardest. 3 months ago
Inspiring talk by Bryan Stevenson. http://wayw.re/WA2AaK 4 months ago
One good thing about being self reflective is many online forums is that after a while, you tend to gather up enough information about your own interests that you might notice who you really are. I’m sure I’ve noticed this before and maybe even written about it. Sucks to have a memory like a sieve.
So what I’ve noticed is that I have a huge pile of things I want to do that I never do. There are reoccuring THEMES and I just ignore them. Those are the things I really like. There is such joy in thinking about them and planning them. I collect ideas, collect stuff, make little plans. I should know what I want to do by now.
I never do these things though. I should do them. I now have 436 things I want to make pinned on Pinterest. I don’t have any time planned out for that. I read the Artists Way and though I figured out how important this is for me but NO. Just feeling grumpy and unfulfilled instead.
So things I really want to do should really get higher on my list. That includes making things I want to make and sending them to my loved ones that I want to make them for. Making things I want to make as a small business is important.
Who am I to stop myself this way all my life? I need to unhoard my hoarders closet by doing not tossing. I need to wake up and stop dreaming.
Wake up sleepyhead. Thats my new motto. 4 months ago
OK, the world didn’t end and apparently if it did I didn’t ascend with all the enlightened high vibration people. Looks like I’m gonna have to deal with living in a year that will will include the number 13 in every single day.
I made some decisions about my goals in, well it was in July. Didn’t really do what I intended but there’s always now.
So now I will reorder them again. I’ll do my annual Kwanza inspired sit and think.
Maybe I’ll secretly send my grandkids some kwanza stuff. I wonder if kwanza will work in Words-with-friends. hmmm.
I need more coffee. 4 months ago
Of course the reordering will require that I actually change some of my behavior. That will be the tricky part. 10 months ago