Care less

OK. I never thought I’d say this, but I want to start caring again. I feel like an empty shell, and feeling anything must be better than this, even pain.

I am quite shocked, if I may say so myself. I have always been this super-sensitive person, putting too much thought, effort and feelings into most areas (and persons) in my life. But lately, both in a negative and positive way, I have started to give a damn. I am seeing things from another perspective, always comparing things with the big picture.

The positive side about this is that I don’t waste energy over things I cannot change. I accept much more quickly, and then move on. I also tend not to take things as personally as I used to. I don’t let one single person’s opinion affect me anymore, neither do I care as much about pleasing everyone so that everyone will like me. An impossible task by the way! :p

But then, there is a negative side about it; I’m not as easily amused as before. I don’t get happy over the small things in life as often as I did. I guess that’s a price I have to pay. But I’ll keep working to get this back though, without inviting all the unnecesarry worries, overanalyzing and moodswings back into my life.

This is going well in some areas, not so well in others. I still feel I have left to gain perspective on how much I should let things affect me.

Apparently I care too much
Never thought this was a bad thing..

This goal is not specific enough. I already have “Stop worrying what other people think of me”, and will add goals like that from now on; goals with a clear purpose, like “care less about making small mistakes” and so on.

I made a complete and utterly fool of myself yesterday, but huh…who cares? Not I :)

Gooooooood, I worry soooooo damn much!

My stumick actually hurts like hell now because of it. I went in over my head and angreed to drive to a town near by shopping with two friends tomorrow (not the smartest move concidering my social anxiety + anxiety for driving). In addition to this, I am throwing a party, so I have tuns of stuff to do tomorrow because of this. Shopping, cleaning osv. There is only one word to describe this:

S H I T!

At least I’m not depressed. Yet. :P

breathing deep
haha! I was just about to make a long entry here, but then I thought, why bother?

This goal is starting to kick in =]

- What other people think of me
- The negative people in my life
- My own negative thoughts
- That nothing can go exacly as I plan
- Making mistakes

I thought I should be complaining last year? Jesus christ. This year, has by far been the worst year ever. Drama and shit has been thrown at me in almost every possible angle that could of pissed me off. Since summer started, I’ve decided, I may be broke, I might not be pretty, and I’m probably not the most social, but at least I’m alive. As corny as it sounds, so far, nothing has killed me.

Caring less about shit really gets rid of the stress.