Strengthen My Marriage

Not even sure where to start on this one. I feel so overwhelmed by how many problems areas we have. I don’t how to prioritize them. I wonder which ones are connected. Maybe some would kind of go away of we fix the bigger problems? I don’t know.

My husband has us signed up for a marriage workshop coming up in the next few weeks. It’s only a one-day thing, but I think it’ll do us some good. Things have been distant for months now, and its even more apparent now that he’s back from 2 months of training. I just don’t feel as connected to him right now. I’m hoping this workshop will help us to sort through some of the muck and get back to a closer relationship.

today i went with my wife shopping for cloths for her new job. it’s not my thing to go shopping but she wanted me to come along. it meant a lot to her so i went, gave honest input and she loved it. this is what love is, doing something for another person even if it’s “not your thing”. this is what makes my marriage stronger. it’s the easy, simple, daily things done consistently that are huge in a marriage. her love language is quality time together and i love being around her even when there is nothing to do.

This is a kind of smart ass comment but it is amazing what less stress (re: two parents working overtime), more patience and a prescription for Paxil will do.

It was a tough weekend. A lot of work. Everyone who I have spoken with since then has said “yes, marriage retreats ARE tough.” Ha! No one told me that before going. I guess it’s like having a child, or being pregnant. If people do tell you it is hard, you don’t want to hear it, I guess. I don’t remember anyone telling me not to go, though…I guess that, too, is like becoming a parent—by the time you know you are going to do it, there’s no point in someone trying to talk you out of it.

Anyway, the marriage retreat was HARD, but it was good for us. The past two days have been a lot better than our family has seen in years.

It wasn’t just the overnight stay and all the prayer and spiritual work we did. It is the culmination of a lot of things from the past few months. We are growing and God is using us, I hope.

It feels SO good. I actually had a dream last night about my husband that was romantic. That hasn’t happened in ages. I dreamed we were on vacation together, taking a romantic drive through the mountains. I WANTED to spend time with him. I felt cared for and taken care of. Very nice.

This morning we held hands while we ate breakfast, for a few moments.

After six years of marriage, it felt good to feel so loved. Much more than I did six months ago when we were on the verge of divorce.

I love Matt unconditionally! He is my soulmate, my first one and only true love. We have been arguing so much lately and it’s over the silliest and stupidest things! We are so much alike, it’s like, we fight for a day, sulk and ignore each other and then we could just be in separate rooms of the house or him at work and we start texting each other…”do you love me?” We both do it, we are so in love with each other. i wish there was some way I could show him how much i love him…

...I’ve defined a strong marriage as one in which communication is the key. Being able to share your feelings with eachother without passing judgement or bashing is the hallmark of a strong marriage. One thing its not about is being soul mates. I feel that if you have too much in common with your partner, you run the risk of losing yourself in the relationship. I’m not saying that soul mates are bad. I’m just saying that I think couples should hold onto the things that make them unique.

I had a discussion yesterday with my hubby and after much thought, I’ve come to this conclusion. Our problem is that I actively pursue confrontations with him and he avoids it. It’s really a viscious (sp?) cycle. I push an issue too hard and push him further away. He ignores the issue and fuels me to push more. It’s something we really need to work on.

He seems excited that I’ve taken the initiative to try to strengthen our bond. I get the feeling that he was starting to think that I didn’t care. Well, that’s all about to change ;)

I don’t know where to start really. I guess I should try to define a strong marriage first. I’ll get back to everyone on that, because I don’t want to spout off something that everyone wants to hear but means nothing to me. ;)

My husband and I have been to the ends of hell and back again emotionally. We have three children one of whom was born with the odds stacked against her. Not expected to live, and here she is now 3 years old and 14 surgeries under her belt.

How does somebody find the right balance between best friend, spouse and parent. I can’t seem to juggle it all. I adore my husband, I love him completely. I feel like I am always seeking his recognition or praise and if I don’t get them I feel unloved or unappreciated.

I hope that by being more open about my needs and asking him his needs that we can form a bond that goes beyond what we have now.

I have only recently remarried about 3 months ago and it is not the best of situations. I hope in time to become a better partner and work on strengthening the relationship if possible.