feel pretty

when someone says I am pretty I feel pretty, but it’s until I look at my pictures that I feel so ugly…
I feel soooooooo ugly sometimes, that I feel embarrassed when a guy looks at me.. b/c I feel he is thinking this horrible things about my looks
and when I look at my self, i WONDER who will ever ever want to be with me..

it is really depressing.,

I shouldn’t be ugly, but I am. I come from a family where all of my female relatives are stunningly beautiful, and I’m…not. I’m the ugly duckling. There are times when I feel like it’s completely unfair that they be so beautiful, so perfect-looking, while I am so ugly.

I work out, I try so hard, I take care of myself and I do everything that should make me beautiful. But there comes a point when I have to face myself and realize that there is only so much I can do. That I have this face, this body, and there’s nothing more to it. That is so hard for me—I want to feel like I can fix things, like I can become beautiful, when I know that I can’t.

I am very smart, and people tell me I have a lot of talent. I’m an artist. I have a great personality. I’m funny. But at the end of the day, funny, smart and talented doesn’t really add up to much, it seems. One day all of my friends, everyone who tells me how great I am, will have a significant other—someone who they find to be attractive. That thought makes me curl up and cry, because every time I look in the mirror I feel that I will never be truly loved. I will be loved as an entertainer and an artist, perhaps. But no one will ever really want me.

Don’t know what I’m doing here just yet – so I will post this for now and add more later. Pretty self explanatory. I have some ego issues. Need to work on it, but don’t know how… yet. I need to feel better about myself, but that involves some work and some change and it’s difficult for a single mom to add more work and change to already packed days. BUT – where there’s a will – there’s a way. And I will find it!

it feels good.

I feel fat.
I really don’t know why my hot boyfriend still wanna be with me.
I look like a.. fat horse or a rhinoceros. Juck.
Tomorrow I’ll work out. A lot too..
Ah, I’m sad.

when im alone i feel pretty all the time. infront of people i just dont see it and when i do its like i have to put on a face and that face isnt me am i crazy?

i always feel pretty when no one else is around to appreciate it…..

well i am getting there. i know its wrong but if the guy i like says “you are pretty without make up and with your rugged clothings” then i think ill put this goal in “i have done this”

i know he is not like that. wait i didnt say i like him already right? oh no.

need to exrercise
stop eating crap
be myself

SO I was going out on friday.. I went shopping two days straigh b/c I had nothing to wear…

I tried every store and nothing felt right..
So I went and I got this mini black skirt, with this tank top, I wore it with my boots.. and I felt really good.. Like Ive forgotten what It feels like…